Challenge Results and Overall Progress

     November 24th, 2014 marked the end of the 12-week transformation challenge that I was a part of with No Excuse Moms.  It was an interesting experience overall, and I am so glad that I participated!  The challenge was a contest, and had many amazing women that were awarded cash prizes.  You can take a look and find inspiration in each of their transformation stories if you visit the No Excuse Mom webpage.
     While I didn't win a cash prize or anything like that, I did gain so much from taking on the challenge.  I am sharing my transformation story here, along with pictures showing progress.  I took a moment to put me at one of my heavier weights from Dec 2010 next to my before (Aug 2014) and after (Nov 2014) pictures from the transformation challenge.  You will see quite a change!  I am excited for how far I have come!

     Here is my transformation story as submitted to judges for the challenge:

     For many years I’ve fought a war with health and fitness.  While I never had extreme weight gain, I wasn’t happy with the reflection in the mirror.  I fought a yo-yoing battle of gaining and losing weight, starting and stopping exercise plans, and going between feeling confident and feeling down.  My heaviest, non-pregnancy, weight was 138lbs on my 5’1” frame.  I knew I needed to be healthy and fit, but it wasn’t sticking.  Typically I started with excitement, stuck with it temporarily, and then something knocked me astray.  Instead of bouncing back, I said “screw it,” and found myself months down the road, spiraling back into bad feelings. 

     On top of my internal battle, people looked at me and asked why I was concerned with weight.  I thought that maybe they were right; maybe I wasn't being grateful for what I had.  However, I was the one seeing what they couldn't see beneath my clothes.  I felt guilty for wanting to improve, yet deep down I wanted change.  I began to lose weight and had gotten down to 125lbs when I found out I was pregnant in June 2013.  I was determined to have a healthy, active pregnancy.  I did well, and within 2 weeks postpartum I was back to pre-pregnancy weight.  With activity, healthy nutrition, and help from breastfeeding, I got to 110lbs. 

     Enter the 12-week challenge.  After finally tackling the weight, I knew I had the opportunity for more.  I could focus on consistency with the healthy lifestyle, and reach for goals hidden deep inside.  The night I decided to do the challenge I sat crying as I talked to my husband.  I didn’t want to admit that my goal was to have a defined, fit, and strong body.  Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve it, and feelings of being ungrateful crept back.  With his support I decided the challenge was what I desperately needed.  My goals were to create a consistent, healthy lifestyle so afterward I could focus on building and defining muscle.  I knew that I would struggle if I didn’t get my attitude and mind in the right place. 

 

     What an amazing ride!  I started out strong and excited, had bumps in the road that tried to derail me, and through it all I did better than expected!  I exercise more often than before, and my nutrition has improved by planning my treats.  The biggest battle was not physical, but mental.  I fought through excuses, and wanting to quit.  Sometimes I skipped a workout, but I bounced back quicker than before.  The biggest breakthrough was in week 11.  I realized treats that were no big deal before made me sick, so sick that I skipped my workout.  Not only does my body prefer healthy foods, for the first time in my life I was sad to miss a workout.  At 9 months postpartum, primarily I’ve gained confidence.  I made great progress and look forward to reaching my next goal!

 

     It was great to write out my progress, because it helped me to acknowledge how far I have come.  Truly the biggest battle I have fought was within.  Doing this has proven that I can follow through on what I set my mind to.  That gives me even more confidence, which propels me on to the next challenge.  I am currently trying a new program by adding resistance bands and allowing that to help take me to the next level.  My Nov 2014 pictures are my new before pics!  We have been told that in January they will be starting another 12-week challenge.  I will be joining again to help keep my momentum going.  I'll post when it starts up, and hope there are others that want to join in too!

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

Overthinking and Me

     Confession time, I can be quite the over thinker.  In the last week I was over-analyzing things so badly that I actually began to analyze my over-analysis!  That's quite impressive if I do say so myself.  The challenge with this is that it brought on my anxiety about the end of the 12-week transformation challenge. 
     I was spinning, as my husband affectionately calls it.  I was thinking and talking on and on about what I would do next after the challenge to keep the momentum going.  I was over-analyzing it to the point that I was getting nowhere fast. 
     What's funny is that when I stopped and decided to take action instead of just thinking about it, I finally got past it.  I first asked myself, would I be able to go to the gym or would I be working out at home?  The answer for me at this time is still at home.  So then I thought, what do I have here at home that I could use?  Resistance bands!  We have a whole set from when we did P90X.  Then I did a quick Google search for resistance band workout plans, and found a couple of options.  Within 5 minutes I chose one I will be trying.  If you want to take a look, it is here on Bodybuilding.com.  I printed it out, and by doing so I was no longer anxious about the next round.  Combining this new workout program with my DDP Yoga DVDs, I believe I will progress even more.

     I will write more about the end of this 12-week challenge tomorrow.  I spent some time today writing my transformation story, which I'll share here.  I also have to take my final pictures and measurements.  I've enjoyed this despite the ups and downs.  I've learned a lot and now that I have a plan for my next stage, I feel so much better.  I believe that my brain was throwing up excuses and fears to put another bump in my path.  The key is to recognize those things for what they are, and get out of the overthinking by making a decision and taking action.
     I look forward to tomorrow.  It is not only the close of this stage, it is the beginning of my next stage to reaching my ultimate targets!

All the best,
OkieGal

Anxious For Days Ahead

     I've been feeling a bit anxious about the end of the challenge coming so soon.  Not so much concerned with how I did, it is more about what happens after the challenge.  I feel like having the 12-week transformation challenge in front of me has pushed me to continue on the journey.  It would be very easy to fall back in the trap of my old habits just because the challenge ended.  The important thing for me to do in this transition between the end of the challenge and the beginning of the next phase of my journey is to take another look at my goals, and begin to adjust them for my next target.

     In the last week I started doing a couple of the Extreme DDP Yoga workouts to start kicking it to the next level.  There is a lot I can work on in those DVDs.  I did get the closest I have ever gotten to doing the splits though, so that's even better than I thought I could do!  We have resistance bands from when we got the P90X system, and I will be working to get at home workouts together that incorporate them. 
     I will also be working to get even more protein into my diet.  Currently, I need to do an even better job of making sure my carb, protein, and healthy fat ratios are balanced.  I know that I'm on the right track, this area is about making small adjustments.
     The piece that I have had more trouble with than I expected is getting enough sleep.  Last night I got to sleep at 2am, and had to get up for work as usual this morning.  If I want to give my body the best chance to recover and be healthy, I will need to take this aspect more seriously.  Things happen, but more often than not it is just me dilly-dallying around!
     I'm looking forward to the next phase, and I know I will be able to do it.  I just need to keep the momentum from the challenge going to propel me forward.

All the best,
OkieGal 

Winds of Change

     Today I have felt a change, a true change.  It's not the physical challenge that has been the most difficult, it has been a mental battle for me to take on this 12-week transformation challenge.  Today I have finally truly felt something that my husband has said he has for a long time.  I'll explain.
     It was my planned treat meal today.  My husband, Chickpea, and I had gone to the store, and then went to go grab something to eat.  The choice of meal and dessert that I made were both things that I have had before.  In fact, they were both places I had eaten as treats in the early weeks of this challenge.
     The first major difference I found, my body did not react well to the food this time.  Without going into too much detail, I had to leave Chickpea in a safe place on two different occasions this evening as once I threw up and the other time was other bathroom issues.  Not fun at all.  What it made me realize though is that I have made progress with my nutrition.  My body no longer handles well what used to be no problem.  Too much grease, and too much sweet is just more than it can take.  That is a good thing!  I am training my body to eat even better, which will help me to reach my goals even more!
     The second difference is quite a change for me.  I am actually bummed that my stomach is still so out of sorts that I can't do my planned workout this evening.  Let me say that again, I actually for the first time EVER am sad that I can't complete my workout!  That, my friends, is huge for me!  Hubby would tell me that he hates to miss his workout, and I just never understood.  Here I am with a bright, shining light bulb above my head because I finally get it.  If nothing else is, that is a sign of progress.

     Does this mean I'll never struggle with wanting to do a workout again?  No.  There will always be days that I am challenged.  Rising above that challenge more often than not is what will give me progress.  I leave you with a song that inspires me in many aspects of my life.  Take a listen and read the lyrics below.

All the best,
OkieGal

Alter Bridge "Before Tomorrow Comes" Lyrics:

I couldn't sleep I had to listen
To a conscience knowing so well
That nothing comes from indifference
I look inside of myself

Will I find some kind of conviction?
Will I bid the hero farewell?
Will I be defined by things that could have been?
I guess time will only tell
I guess time will only tell

[Chorus:]
So don't let it be
Before tomorrow comes
Before you turn away
Take the hand in need
Before tomorrow comes
You could change everything

I curse my worth and every comfort
That blinded me for way too long
Damn it all I'll make a difference from now on
Cause I'm wide awake to it all
Cause I'm wide awake to it all

[Chorus]

Does anyone care it ain't right what we're doing?
Does anyone care it ain't right where we're going?
Does anyone dare justify how we're living?
Does anyone here care at all?

[Chorus]

We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
Oh this much I know

Wrapping Week 10

     When I look at the calendar, it is amazing to see that there are only 2 weeks left in the transformation challenge.  I've actually been reading through some of my early posts to see how I've progressed so far, and remind me of where I started. 
     While I plan to do more review and speak to that towards the end of the challenge, I did notice an interesting difference over the last few days.  As I mentioned in my last post, I have found that I miss doing the workouts when I don't do them.  My body feels better when I keep moving and stretching throughout the week.  There will be times that I may not be able to practically complete my workouts, yet I now know that stretching out is a better choice for me than doing no workout at all.  My hip and back are especially benefiting from the DDP Yoga I have been doing, and I truly feel it helps relieve stress as well.

 

     In addition to noticing this difference about my physical activity, I notice it with my nutrition as well.  If my food choices skew more towards unhealthy options, I begin to feel the impact.  A treat here and there doesn't seem to be a big deal, it is when I choose the less healthy options for several days in a row that it really makes an impact.  My stomach is more upset and overall I feel weighed down.
     I have found myself wanting to get back into the healthy routine faster each time I stray from it, and this is definitely progress.  Early on in the challenge I was fighting my thoughts to not do the workouts.  Now I am jumping back into them with less resistance.  This is proof that the shifts in my life and the decisions I am making are impacting me for the better over the long term.  Two weeks to go, and I am excited to finish strong!

All the best,
OkieGal 

Turning a Corner

     Week 10 is coming to an end, and I'm finding that while they are small, little shifts are occurring in my life as it relates to health and fitness.  We have had guests over the last few days, and so I haven't been as diligent with my workouts as I usually am.  If I'm honest, that's just fancy talk for using it as an excuse. 
     Today I woke up early feeling sore and my joints/muscles felt tight, and I couldn't get back to sleep.  In the past this would have made me think that I needed a break from my workouts.  Surely it is the activity that is causing me pain.  This morning I decided to go downstairs and put in one of my DVD workouts to see if the movement would help relieve the pain in my back.  I am so glad I did!  Instead of being sore because of my workouts, I was actually sore from not having done one in a few days. 
     That is a great realization to have, and will only help me to continue to stay on track.  When I recognize that the healthier lifestyle is improving my quality of life, I will have a more positive outlook on continuing to be healthy.  The more positive view I have, the more I will make it a priority. 
     I know that the mental game is the most challenging part.  If I only see the negative or focus on it, that is what will continue to show up in life.  I will see the downward spiral instead of appreciating and enjoying the positive.  There is so much to be thankful for, and so much positive to find even in the most difficult situations.  This is true of life in general.
     I have turned a corner by having this realization.  Knowing the fact that a lifestyle will help me to feel better is only part of it.  I still will have to make choices to support that lifestyle.  I still will have to battle the thoughts in my head that tell me to just take today off, or have another treat here or there.  The great thing is, the more I remember feeling better after working out, the more I will want to work out.  It will begin to lay a foundation that makes it easier and easier to fight those battles.
     A small shift, yet it is an important one that I will continue to make and continue to capitalize on.

All the best,
OkieGal        

Trick & Treat

     It's always interesting to me how out of the ashes of an unfortunate situation, surprisingly great things happen.  I'll start from the beginning to give an idea of what I mean.  Today was a little rocky to begin with.  Chickpea was unexpectedly risen from sleep about an hour before his normal time.  This normally wouldn't be too bad, but I had been up until about 2am with tummy issues.  Through the course of the day, Chickpea had a few issues of his own.  Overall the day was pretty normal though.
     Yesterday I had a trunk or treat event at work that I took Chickpea to, and decided to swing by Bass Pro Shops on the way home since they were doing pictures.  He was already in costume, and I was going to take every opportunity to let him wear it!  I learned while there that they would be having an in store trick or treat event, and a costume parade on Halloween.  So today, I dressed him back up, and took him over there.
     We enjoyed the time there, and it was getting closer to Chickpea's dinner and bed time routine.  I loaded him up with enough time to grab a coffee treat using the rest of a Starbuck's gift card I had, and also swing by Chick-fil-a for a bite. 
     On my way home I noticed that there was smoke/steam coming from the front of the Jeep.  You don't have to be a grease monkey to know that this is not a good thing.  After the light turned green, I got over into a parking lot nearby to assess my situation.  The engine was running a bit warm.  So, after consulting with the hubby, I let it cool down.  My next task was to limp it just a bit further down the road to the QuikTrip to get water and put it in.

     Doing this sort of thing on your own is not a huge deal.  Doing this sort of thing on your own with an 8 month old in tow is not as easy.  I swear that when a mom hears their baby cry, it is like an epic brain scrambler.  Someone could play it over a loud speaker in some sort of warfare tactic to render her useless.  I got the water in the Jeep, and a nice man stopped by to help me get the hood back down (if you've ever lifted and lowered the hood on a Jeep, you know this was a welcomed offer).
     The gauges showed the engine was back in normal range, so I put on the hazard lights to limp it the 2 miles back home.  Long story short, I get within a half mile from the house and it is done.  Smoking/steaming again and just won't go anymore.  Here I am with Chickpea, parked on the side of the road.  Of course it is 34 degrees outside, and hubby is occupied with a ride-a-long for his EMT course over 25 minutes away.  Chickpea is no longer amused by being out and about, he is tired, cranky and screaming.  I am waiting on the engine to cool down again so that I can try to limp it the short way home. 
     My husband was within 20 minutes of being to our location when flashing lights showed up behind me.  My first thought was a police officer was checking on us, but it turned out to be a tow truck driver.  He was on his way to a call when he passed me going the other direction.  That call got cancelled, so he turned around to check on the vehicle.  When he came up, he didn't expect to find me and the baby there.  He offered to let us wait on hubby in the warmth of the truck.  I told him we lived just around the corner, and asked if he could tow it.  He said sure, and loaded us up.  The guy was so nice, and he was saying that the previous call was meant to be cancelled so that he could be available to help us.  I think he felt bad that I was stranded out in the cold with the baby.
     He unloads the Jeep in the driveway, and helps me get Chickpea out of the tow truck and he carries him in the car seat up to the door.  I then asked him how much I owe him, fearing the hefty tow bill that usually accompanies these things.  He looked at me and told me not to worry about it.  I stood there in disbelief, and asked him "are you sure?"  He said that he was, and told me to have a great night. 
     There you have it, the treat from my Halloween evening.  I thanked him when he told me this, and I thank him again here.  I appreciate you helping Chickpea & I out.  You brought light into an evening that was ending with frustrated thoughts of the repairs and associated bills with the Jeep situation.  My way of showing my appreciation to you for helping me out in a pinch, is to find the opportunity to do the same for someone else.  Thank you for the bright spot in a frustrating evening!
    
All the best,
OkieGal 

Midway Through Week 9

     It has been a busy few days.  With Halloween just around the corner, I was finishing up the costume I made for Chickpea.  It is a hoot to see him in it!  I plan to show more of the making of his costume later.  It was fun to do, and I am pleased with how it turned out.
     As I'm midway through week 9 of the transformation challenge, I am reminded today why it is a good idea to take progress photos!  It gives me a chance to see how far I have come to date.  The boost that it is giving me to see what I've done is just what I need in these last weeks.  I wanted to take a moment to remind myself of my goals during this leg of my journey.

 

 

     The 6 focuses I have set for the 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal are here. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     Overall, I know that I have done well at most of these.  The sleep piece is honestly my hardest challenge.  I find myself wanting to stay up and catch up on shows, hang out with my hubby, and see what's going on around the internet.  The great news is that even when I was down or getting off track, I still was doing more than I would have done in the past.  That is progress!
     Seeing the progress helps remind me that the small choices I make everyday make an impact over time.  I am closing in on the end of the DDP Yoga program, and while I will be continuing to do a few of the DVDs, I will also be adding in more resistance band workouts.  Specifically looking at doing the workout I posted at the beginning that mirrors what Gina Carano does.  I will continue on this journey, and will make progress.  I'm proud of what I've done so far, and will continue to work for my goals.
     Take a look for yourself!

      

 

 

 

 

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

 

 

Ups & Downs

     I am quickly realizing that this whole health and fitness journey is full of way more ups and downs than I would like to admit.  Since the whole point of writing this is to keep myself accountable, that means writing about the ups and the downs of the journey. 
     It's been interesting the last weeks.  Just when I think that I'm getting back on track, something else hits me.  For instance, I was finally getting back in a groove after my travels.  The next thing I know, both Chickpea and I are sniffling and sneezing for several days.  I had the illness through Tuesday of this week.  I took a break from my workouts, because to be completely honest, I didn't want to do moves like "down dog" with my sinuses hurting as they were. 
     On Wednesday, I felt better, but I still didn't want to get back in it.  My husband and I stayed up way too late talking about the funk that I keep finding myself dipping in and out of.  It's been difficult.  I'm struggling with my thoughts and feelings more than the physical aspect of the transformation.  I'm not sure if I'm surprised by that or more frustrated with it.  I've never been one to want to talk about my emotions and feelings around things.  I tend to try to white-knuckle it when life gets stressful.  I feel like if I just hold on tight for as long as possible, I'll eventually get through it.  This seems to work for awhile, but my husband pointed out that when you white-knuckle something for long enough it is difficult to let go. 
     As much as this blog has been focusing on the transformation challenge, since I'm human and life is intertwined, a lot of the other aspects of my life have come into play.  When challenges are hitting me in other areas of my life, it naturally is going to have some impact on health and fitness. 
     I took time the last two days to refocus.  Yesterday and today I have listened to leadership calls to help get my mind back in the game.  It also gave me steps to take to help get closer to what I want. 

 

     We also went to the gym to get my body fat percentage measured today.  This has been something I have avoided.  I did it a few years ago, and I just didn't want to face it again.  I knew I needed to do it so that I have a reference point for my progress since knowing my weight doesn't tell me much about how I'm progressing on my goals.  I was afraid to be vulnerable and get these measurements taken.  I did it anyway.  What's interesting is that I had it done, and I learned that I'm in a lot better place than I was a few years ago.  When I was about 20lbs heavier, I was at about 28% body fat.  Today, I am at 24%!  I faced the vulnerability and the fear, and got evidence of how far I've come in the last years.  It also was good to learn that I'm really not that far from where I want to be.  I got confirmation that a lot of things that I'm doing are the right things for accomplishing my goals, and I also got tips for continuing to get me there.  That was a huge boost for me!
     I will be doing more soul-searching over the weekend.  I have almost completed the 8th week of the challenge, and I know I can do great things if I set my mind to it.  I will be revisiting my goals, and as was suggested to me today, I will also be reminding myself of why I am on this journey.
     I'm sure there are more ups and downs to come.  My goal is to continue to celebrate the high points, and learn everything I can about the lows.  I will only move forward if I learn, and make adjustments.  This is possible, and I will make progress!

All the best,
OkieGal
 

Choose Your Challenge

     Life has a funny way of giving you what you need, when you need it sometimes.  This morning I had a leadership call.  You may remember me writing about the calls that set me down a better path for my life, these leadership calls are with that same group.  After I participated in Core Strength Experience, I knew I needed to continue the momentum.  I joined Michael Bernoff's leadership team, and therefore have the opportunity to participate in monthly leadership calls.
     One of the quotes that Michael mentioned today was a twist on "if you always do what you've always have done, you'll always get what you always got."  The change in the quote was, "if you always do what you've always done, you get nothing."  The concept being that if you already have it, you don't get it again.  So therefore if you keep doing the same thing, you no longer get anything more than what you got the first time.  This makes it important to keep learning new things, and continually doing new things.  I have to ask myself why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Then ask if it is getting me what I want.  If not, what can I do to change that?
     The other piece that hit me today was that no matter what we do in life, we will always have challenges.  Instead of just taking whatever challenges happen to come our way, why not choose a better challenge?  I am sick and tired of the challenge I have with being the kind of person that has a consistent, healthy lifestyle.  I've been back and forth with that challenge for a long time now.  By doing the 12-week transformation challenge, I am working to become a person that lives a consistent, healthy lifestyle.  I want to move past that challenge, and move to a new, more desirable challenge.  When I get serious about my health and make it who I am, I no longer have to worry about the challenge of being a healthy person.  I get to choose the next challenge instead of always dealing with the same one.

     How empowering is that?  I can choose to continue to have the same challenge for the rest of my life.  OR I can choose to tackle this challenge, and then move on to the next one.  This is true of fitness, finances, career, being a wife, motherhood, etc.  If I'm going to have to face a challenge, it might as well be one I choose.  It might as well be one that will get me what I want in my life!
    
All the best,
OkieGal

Got The Funk

     I have been in such a funk lately.  It's not really from a fitness and nutrition standpoint either.  I just really don't feel myself, and it happens to be impacting the rest.  It has been even more important to make myself eat well and complete each workout.  If I let myself go too much, I know I will only feel worse.
     It's really about managing my state of mind.  When my husband asked me what was going on in my head the other day, the best I could say was that I felt insignificant.  That wasn't exactly what he expected me to say.  Honestly, it sounds weird as I write it.  To be clear, I don't feel worthless or anything like that.  It's more that I was feeling like I'm going through the motions, and wondering if what I do each day really matters.
     When I take a step back, I know that what I'm doing each day does matter.  I saw a post someone shared on Facebook yesterday and it was what I needed to see.  It said, "We need time-elapsed photography to see a plant grow. The progress is so gradual that on a day-by-day basis growth is nearly impossible to see. But we can know for certain that the day will come when there's no denying the bloom!" 

     All this to say that it's important to take a step back and appreciate the big picture.  It's easy to get lost in the day to day and forget that I am making a difference.  Step by step, with each day I am moving towards my goals.  I am significant.
     When making my tea this morning, I read the tag.  It helped focus my day even more.

All the best,
OkieGal

Keep Fighting

     Slowly, but surely, I am getting back on track.  I have not really wanted to, yet I keep pushing forward.  One day at a time.  Hubby has started doing the DDP Yoga DVDs with me in addition to his gym workouts.  He told me that he thought gaining flexibility would help him with his weight lifting.  This is definitely true, and I know stretching out helps.  Part of me also has wondered if he could sense that I need the extra motivation right now.  It's harder to slack off when you have a workout buddy.
     The other thing I'm wondering is if my vitamin D levels are low again.  Several weeks ago I ran out of my vitamin D supplement, and have failed to buy more.  This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it is for me.  In the past I have experienced the overwhelming feeling of wanting to crawl in bed or in a cave somewhere and hide.  I wouldn't want to do anything and I was just overall feeling down.  When I went to the doctor they did blood work, and come to find out my vitamin D level was not at the 30-50 level they want.  Mine was at 17.  The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency are a lot like depression.  I started taking a supplement at to help get me back up to normal levels.  When I go off of it for a long time, I start feeling the symptoms again.  So for me, I have to stay on a supplement.  This was the case for me, may not be for everyone. 
     Add on top of the likely vitamin D deficiency me thinking a lot about my friend Jessie the last few days, and you have one unmotivated gal! 

     Again, I always feel good when I do my workout.  It's just flipping that switch to go from wanting to lay on the couch to working out that is a challenge right now.  I will fight through this, and I will keep going.  One step at a time.

All the best,
OkieGal

Is It Really Week 6?

     The last week has been an absolute rollercoaster.  My trip to California was bittersweet, and I made it back to Kansas just in time to turn around and begin a drive to Oklahoma.  This is when life happened and in the past it would be knocking me off track.

 

     I'll be completely honest, for the last week as I said goodbye to my dear friend Jessie, and then went to Oklahoma to speak at a ladies' Bible study, I didn't really think much about the transformation challenge.  When I left for the airport that Saturday, I had a feeling it would be difficult to stay on track.  I was talking to my husband about it yesterday, and determined that it would do me no good to retroactively track my nutrition for that week.  There's nothing that could be done about it at this point, and it would just leave me feeling bad.
     Instead, I have decided to focus on moving forward.  This week is about rebuilding a sense of normal for me.  On one hand, I feel guilty doing that.  On the other, I know that it's something I need to do.  The only way I can truly honor Jessie is through striving for my dreams and loving the life I've been given.

 

     I have learned that in very stressful situations, my eating is non-existent.  I did a mental check of what I ate while on my trip to California, and it wasn't much.  Sometimes it was because of circumstances like trying to make a connecting flight, and other times it was just the fact that I didn't even think about it.  In contrast, my Oklahoma trip was less stressful, and I was wanting to eat more comfort foods.  I feel like the two trips balanced each other out in that regard.
     I did do my progress photos, and will post them here.  I am not seeing huge differences yet, I do feel a difference though.  The trips reminded me of that.  When I am eating well and staying active, I feel so much better.  Just doing a short workout last night helped me stretch out.  I will persevere. 
     While I don't feel like I failed, the quote above is still a good kick in the pants.  Keep going.  That's what I have to keep telling myself.  It's about getting back into it more quickly than I did the last time.  Instead of letting myself be thrown off and wake up 3 months later wondering why I couldn't keep it up, I am back after a week.  That's progress, and that's what this is all about. 

All the best,
OkieGal

 

 

I Don't Wear Pink

     It's not that I have anything against the color pink, it just has never been my color.  I own a few outfits that have pink in them, and even have a pink dress.  Today I wear pink.  I dug and found the one shirt I have, and I wore it and a smile for someone very dear to me.

     I can't say that I know where this post will go.  I know that I need to write something, and I will do my best for it all to make sense in the end.  Thanks in advance for hanging with me on this one.
     Several years ago, I joined a website called Policewives.org.  At the time my husband had been in law enforcement for over a year.  I was feeling in need of somewhere to go to talk to others that understood what it meant to be the wife to someone in law enforcement.  Through that site I was put in contact with many wonderful women.  Women that came together because of a mutual understanding of the LEO life, and then became bonded together, forever sisters. 
     Over the years I have had the opportunity to meet several of these women in person.  It's one of these women that I'd like to write about now.  Her name is Jessie.  We mostly interacted through the PW website and on Facebook, writing posts here and there. 
     In the last several years, fortunately for me, travel for work began taking me repeatedly out to California.  In May of 2011, I was out there for a conference, and got the idea to see if Jessie wanted to meet.  She was so excited!  Jessie and her husband picked me up from the airport and took me to my hotel where we sat in the lobby and talked like we'd known each other all our lives.  I don't remember how long we sat there, the time flew by.  We laughed a lot, and had a wonderful time chatting.
     Fall 2011 was the next time I went to California, and I was a short flight away from them.  I asked Jessie if it would be okay for me to visit them for a few days after my conference.  She was more than happy to have me.  We planned to go to Reno for a trip to the air races with her brother and husband along too.  She took me to her favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch and we talked.  We laughed and had a wonderful time.  I got to meet her mother, and enjoyed the time the three of us chatted.  That evening, before it was time to drive to Reno, we learned that a horrible crash had occurred at the air race that day.  They cancelled the races for the day we were supposed to attend.  Not letting that get us down, we all packed up for Reno anyway.  We had a great time talking, going to the auto museum, visiting the planetarium, and going out to dinner.
     The third time I got to see Jessie, it was because of a conference in the fall of 2013.  It was to be one of my last trips since I was pregnant with Chickpea at the time.  I let her know I was headed her way again, and she was ready to welcome me with open arms.  Jessie, her husband, brother, and dad all came and picked me up at the hotel.  The first thing she asked to do was rub my belly to meet Chickpea.  She was so happy for us!  They took me to Off the Grid, which is where a bunch of food trucks gather in one location.  We had a blast going to different trucks and trying food.  One of the funniest moments was when we went to the bacon truck to get a piece of chocolate covered bacon for me to take home to my hubby.  Jessie wanted so badly for him to have it that she begged the truck workers to see if they had any left.  Sure enough they had one piece.  The funny part came when later she hugged one of the truck owners and thanked him for finding us the piece of bacon for her friend that was visiting all the way from Kansas.  Turns out it was the truck owner for a different truck!  It was so cute.  We laughed a lot and Jessie took it in stride.  You never know, maybe he needed a hug!  We got a picture in front of that bacon truck, and for the life of me I cannot find it.  It was also on this trip that she gave me this pin.

     I am just returning from the fourth visit I have made to see Jessie.  This trip was by far the hardest.  My friend spent 3.5 years fighting the wretched disease known as breast cancer.  Every visit that I took out there she was battling this disease, and every time I saw her she was smiling and doing everything she could to make my visit enjoyable.  She took the diagnosis as a reason to live every moment to its fullest.  She got her diving certification while on chemo treatments, and took a special trip to dive in the beautiful, warm waters.  She had a special road trip that involved meeting as many of her PW sisters as possible.
     It is so hard to realize that my fourth trip to see her was the last time I would get to see her.  She had been released from the hospital to hospice care.  She was going home to fight for as long as she could being comfortable, instead of having to deal with the horrible side effects of chemo treatments.  When I learned of this last week, I felt compelled to see her.  I booked my flights and hotel quickly.  It wasn't because I thought she was going quickly, but because I knew she needed love and support after having just lost her dad less than a week before getting the difficult news about her own health. 
     My travel out there was crazy to say the least.  I got diverted to Albuquerque, NM while trying to get to Phoenix because of the huge storms.  A night in NM, and I was travelling again Sunday morning to try to get to see her.  All this with Chickpea in tow!
     I got there with the help of her husband coming to get me from the closest place I could fly into, which was 70 miles away.  I spent Sunday afternoon and evening, as well as all day Monday with her and her family.  I could tell that she was fighting hard when I got there Sunday, yet she was still smiling and so glad to see us.  She got to hold Chickpea, which I am so glad for.  She was even apologizing to me for "being a mess."         
    

 

     Sunday she was not as alert, a lot of this had to do with the side effects of medications she was on to keep her comfortable.  At the end of the day I was getting ready to go back to the hotel for the evening.  I would be flying out the next day to come home.  I sat to tell her I was leaving and she said "oh honey," and again tried to apologize for being a mess.  I told her she was an inspiration to so many and that she is so strong.  She smiled.  I let her know that any time I don't think I have the strength to do something, I think of her.  I gave her hugs and kissed her forehead and told her to keep fighting.  I also let her know I'd be in touch. 

     I am so glad that I made it out to see her.  I never would have thought that the next morning when I was headed to the airport that I would be learning of her passing.  She always said that cancer would not beat her.  She was right, it didn't.  She fought to the last breath.  It may have taken her physically from us, but it never will beat her spirit and the impact that she has had on those around her.

     Because of her, I have been connected with her wonderful family and been able to meet several of the other police wives.

     I wear pink for her.  I wear the pin she gave me.  I also wear a smile for her.  Knowing that is what she always brought to me and so many others.  I won't let cancer take that either. 

     I love you Jessie, and you will always be in my heart.  I thank you for showing me what strength is and what living life to its fullest with no excuses is all about.  You are beautiful through and through.  You inspire me to continue to go after my dreams, and live my life to the fullest.  Once a sister, always a sister.

 

All the best,

OkieGal 

     

Life Is Beautiful

     This post is the hardest to write so far.  It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that there's so much to say.  It's that I'm not sure any words I can find will do it justice.  Yet here I sit, knowing that I need to at least try to put it out there.
     Last night I had gotten on the computer to do a bit of study.  I will be giving a lesson at a Ladies' Bible study in about a week and a half, and so wanted to work on my lesson.  I decided to check Facebook real quick before I got started, and saw a post that stopped me in my tracks.
     I have a friend that has been fighting the horrific thing that is cancer.  She's been battling it for several years now, and had been in the hospital again recently.  During this stay, they have now been told that the treatments are no longer working.  This is a hard reality to face.  No one wants to learn that someone they care about is being put in this position.  She has two sons at home, a loving husband, family, and scores of friends nationwide that love her so much. 
     I read the words with tears rolling down my cheeks.  I had been planning on trying to get back to see her.  This new information brought urgency to my plans.  I decided to go with my husband's suggestion to get out there again.
     This woman is a pillar of strength.  While fighting her own battle she has also had to power through losing her mother not even 2 years ago, and losing her father less than a week ago.  While we have all been struggling with the words to say, she told us that she is "going home to fight like crazy for the time I have."   
     She has kept her spunk, and has been a positive influence in so many lives.  I have had the pleasure of visiting her on several occasions when my work took me out her way.  She is a light, full of laughter and a beautiful person inside and out.
     I am so excited to see my friend again.  I will not be able to take away the difficult situation she and her family have been put in.  I hope to give back just a portion of what she has given to so many people, including myself.  Give love, care, and a laugh.
     The whole situation is a reminder of the bigger picture.  We have so much to live for and appreciate.  "Just open your eyes, and see that life is beautiful."

All the best,
OkieGal

The Voices Return

     It is so odd.  With my workouts I have been rolling along fine, and then today it was just tough.  I was 10 minutes in, and all I wanted to do was stop.  It was a mental battle the whole time.  I had to keep telling myself to make it a few more minutes, a constant personal pep talk for the entirety of the workout.  The important point is that I finished it.
     I am to the point in my workout program that it is getting more challenging.  This is the last week that has more than one rest day allotted.  So we're really ramping up.  I believe subconsciously that my fears are creeping in, and so my brain is saying, "abort, abort!"  I'm getting to the difficult part, and it's getting real.  The goals that I have set are before me, and the fear is coming strong.  That little voice that thinks I can't really accomplish it, and thinks that I'm going fail is trying to make itself heard. 
    

    
     Times like this, I remind myself that I am capable of this goal.  It is about releasing the potential within.  I have the strength within me, it is about putting the work in to let it shine.  It will not be easy.  That is what will make the accomplishment so much more exciting to obtain.  By working hard and pushing through these challenges, I will appreciate the progress all the more. 
     It was a tough workout from a mental perspective.  I finished it, and I'm better for it.

All the best,
OkieGal

Wrapping Up Week 3

     Three weeks of the 12-week transformation challenge done!  Even with some rough points in the week, I finished strong!  It has been interesting to find out which of my focus areas are coming along and which are still a work in progress.  I am really impressed with how well the infused water pitcher is helping me keep up my water intake.  I have had above 70oz for nearly two weeks now, and most days are closer to 100oz!  That is a huge improvement from my past bests of around 40oz in a day!  I will say that the weekends are more of a struggle for me when it comes to this focus, and so I will be more intentional about it on the weekends moving forward.

 

 

     From a mental perspective, the fight over doing my workouts is diminishing.  I had no trouble jumping right back into it today after my rest day.  I still need to work through the physical aspects.  My body is still working through the transition from not working out to having a consistent workout regime.  Just keep going, and I know it'll continue to get better.

     One of my focuses is to be more thoughtful about my treats and to choose healthy food options.  I have found that by planning my treat meal in advance, I am less tempted to have treats the rest of the week.  I had set in my mind that it would be Saturday, and so we went out and had a great time.  It was part of the plan, so I didn't feel guilty.  This week we had Mi Ranchito, which is one of the Mexican restaurants in the area.  Had chips & salsa, cheese dip, and a great dinner.  We then went for dessert to a new place that opened up, Smallcakes Creamery.  Smallcakes is a cupcake shop and the creamery is a new concept store for them.  They basically take their cupcake flavors and put them into the form of ice cream.  I took a picture to prove I did indeed have a treat!  Two of my favorite flavors of their cupcakes are the Caramel Crunch and the Red Velvet.  Naturally, I got them both in a waffle bowl.  It was awesome!  When you plan your treat, consider them!  :)

 

 

     The other thing about the treats that is interesting, I don't want them during the week.  I had the dinner and the ice cream last night, and I was ready to eat healthy again.  I felt bloated and sluggish at the end of the night.  I don't regret my treat.  I just feel like my body is getting more and more used to the healthy options.  It actually wants them more often over the junk than it used to.  When I do have to grab a quick bite out, I'm making better choices.  That is great progress! 

     On the sleep front, this is definitely a work in progress.  I was in bed around 1 am last night.  Between the bloated feeling from the treat and the late night, my day started rough today.  As I ate well and got active I noticed I felt better.  Getting sleep is going to be important for me.  I may have to start writing it on my calendar to keep it top of mind.  That seems to be working for my workouts, treats, and water consumption. 

     I am excited and nervous for next week's measurements and progress pics.  I am feeling a difference, and it will be interesting to see if it shows when I check in! 

 

All the best,

OkieGal   



Nutrition Revelation

     This week has been an improvement when it comes to nutrition for me.  I have gotten within striking distance of my calorie goal, and am doing better on the ratios too!  I'm still feeling some aches here and there, yet have continued to stick with the workouts.  I've been modifying if needed to avoid truly injuring myself.  The infused water pitcher has been a great way for me to consistently get my ounces in.  The main area with some progress still needed is getting to bed & to sleep at a more reasonable hour.  I've improved here, just need to continue that focus.
     I mentioned before that my need to focus on overall health had, in part, to do with the fact that I have been told by the doctor several times that my cholesterol was high.  This is still the case, in addition there is another reason that nutrition has become a greater focus for me.  That reason is Chickpea.  From very early on, Chickpea was showing great interest in the activity of eating.  He enjoys watching us eat.  He thought it was funny at first, and then became more interested in what we were doing.  He wanted to try it to!

 

     This made me think about what I was modeling for him.  I knew that I wanted him to try real foods.  I had planned to make his food for several reasons.  One is that it would be easier to just make extra of foods we were already buying.  Two is that it's cheaper.  Three, I want Chickpea to get a taste of real food before anything that has been packaged or processed is introduced.  Fourth, it's easy and cheap! 
     I got myself something quick one day, and Chickpea was showing interest.  I sat there and thought, "I would love to share from my plate, but how can I do that when I'm not eating the things that he can or should eat?"  It made me think about what I was modeling and what I want him to see and do.
     Now that I'm getting my nutrition on track, I feel much better about what I'm showing him.  He will also see that it's fun to have a treat from time to time.  That's the point.  I'll be giving him an example of a balanced look at food.  He will have the opportunity to appreciate healthy foods, and also still be a kid and have a treat here and there. 
     I am learning a lot and really thinking about why I do what I do.  It became obvious now that Chickpea is here, I had to adjust what I am doing nutritionally.  Not just to make sure I am here for him for as long as possible, but also to make sure I am giving him the best example I can of a healthy, balanced life.

All the best,
OkieGal

Transition

     After a rough start to the week, yesterday and today have been better.  Chickpea was in rare form today, but it was nothing too crazy.  He mostly is wanting to explore and wiggle around, and he is still working on the whole mobility thing.  It ends up being a pretty funny combination.  He finds the most interesting ways to get around.  When he wasn't playing or wiggling near me, he insisted on clinging to me.  He finally got his wiggles out and is snoozing away.
     Today is a rest day for the DDP Yoga program, so I decided to get Chickpea out of the house.  He got a stroller ride to the park down the road and we did a few laps before coming back home.  It was a total of about 30 minutes, and while it was overcast the humidity helped get me sweating.  I opted for a quick paced walk today instead of jogging.  My knees need a bit of a break, and my goal was just to be moving, and ultimately give Chickpea a change of scenery for awhile.
     I feel like I'm falling into familiar territory with my workout.  While this is week 3 of the transformation challenged, I am on week 8 of the DDP Yoga advanced schedule.  The schedule is 13 weeks long, so I'm in the last half of it.  This is a time period with most workouts that I start to really feel it in my body.  I'm not injured, I am just sore.  My joints are achy and overall tired.  I know this is my body adjusting to it all.  In the past, this is also about the time I'd start letting up.  I would take more rest days until I wasn't doing much of anything.  Then I'd be right back where I started.

     I'm having to remind myself to keep going.  I'm glad that I'm still in the early part of the 12 week challenge while this feeling is hitting me.  I believe that it will give me the push I need to make it through this part of my workout journey.  I am going to apply something I learned from the labor and delivery process.  There's a portion of labor called "transition," and in my childbirth class we talked about it being the part where I would feel like I couldn't do it anymore and want to give up.  Having those feelings meant that I was almost ready to push.  It was remembering this concept that helped me get through transition and to pushing without asking for pain meds (my goal was a natural, pain med free childbirth, as long as baby and I were healthy.  Technically didn't have it natural since I was induced and they used Pitocin, but I did get through without pain meds).  I need to remember that my body is transitioning from not working out regularly to having fitness be part of my regular schedule.  I have to give myself a chance to fight through it.  Just keep going.
     This is where taking it one day at a time helps make it all manageable.  Day by day, I will continue this journey, and I will make progress!

All the best,
OkieGal
      

A Case of the Mondays

     What a day!  Today was just rough.  I woke up with a headache, and I can feel the tension in the base of my head/neck has built up.  I am not a fan of this, just because I know it has lead to migraines for me in the past.  Add on top of that the fact that Chickpea was also having some fussy time today, and it just made it difficult.  I also discovered that several of the produce items that I had purchased on Saturday have mold on them, so I was none too thrilled about that.  To give a visual, late in the afternoon my husband comes home from the gym.  He walks in and Chickpea is in the play yard crying, and I'm sitting in the chair next to it eating my lunch with tears rolling too.  Honestly, I think Chickpea was sensing my tension and also he was having tummy issues.  Long story short, it was just "ugh!"
     The evening was a lot better, and I found myself looking forward to my workout.  This hasn't been the case previously.  I was looking at it as a stress relief, and a way to end the day on track.  It felt good to stretch out, and I have the good after workout high to help my headache as well.
     During the early evening, I was playing on the floor with Chickpea.  He is working on crawling right now, and I noticed he has a pattern when he's learning something new.  Long before he can physically do the action (whether it is rolling over or crawling), you can tell he wants to do it so bad.  He tries and tries and gets so frustrated that he's not doing what he knows he wants to do.  He'll get so frustrated that he will just lay on the floor, arms folded with his head down.  He may not realize it yet, but he is so close to his break through.  He soon will have the physical motions down, and be able to accomplish his goal.  Watching him do this, I know he has to feel that frustration first.  Once he hits the frustration, it will drive him to do more.  Once he gets that drive, he accomplishes the action he wants to take.  If he reacts like he did with rolling over, he will also be seen showing great joy in his success.  Then he'll be onto the next thing to learn.

     This made me think about myself.  One of my several motivations for challenging myself is to be better for Chickpea.  He watches me, and I want him to see a confident Mama that shows him balance in life.  Eating healthy, while allowing for treats.  Working hard, while celebrating my accomplishments.  Appreciating who I am, while always striving to be even better.  Helping others, while also taking care of myself.  Living a life focused on the Lord.
     I also remembered that I am learning a lot from him.  I will have frustrations in life, and I may need to cry it out.  At the end of the day though, I will pick up and try again.  I will keep going, and I will be determined to accomplish my goals.  I will also celebrate the successes I have, no matter how small.  Then choose the next action to learn more about, and do it.
     I must remember it is about progress.  While today had a rough start, it is what I did with it that mattered.  I celebrate the lesson that Chickpea taught me today, and I will celebrate with him when he accomplishes his own goal!

All the best,
OkieGal