Trick & Treat

     It's always interesting to me how out of the ashes of an unfortunate situation, surprisingly great things happen.  I'll start from the beginning to give an idea of what I mean.  Today was a little rocky to begin with.  Chickpea was unexpectedly risen from sleep about an hour before his normal time.  This normally wouldn't be too bad, but I had been up until about 2am with tummy issues.  Through the course of the day, Chickpea had a few issues of his own.  Overall the day was pretty normal though.
     Yesterday I had a trunk or treat event at work that I took Chickpea to, and decided to swing by Bass Pro Shops on the way home since they were doing pictures.  He was already in costume, and I was going to take every opportunity to let him wear it!  I learned while there that they would be having an in store trick or treat event, and a costume parade on Halloween.  So today, I dressed him back up, and took him over there.
     We enjoyed the time there, and it was getting closer to Chickpea's dinner and bed time routine.  I loaded him up with enough time to grab a coffee treat using the rest of a Starbuck's gift card I had, and also swing by Chick-fil-a for a bite. 
     On my way home I noticed that there was smoke/steam coming from the front of the Jeep.  You don't have to be a grease monkey to know that this is not a good thing.  After the light turned green, I got over into a parking lot nearby to assess my situation.  The engine was running a bit warm.  So, after consulting with the hubby, I let it cool down.  My next task was to limp it just a bit further down the road to the QuikTrip to get water and put it in.

     Doing this sort of thing on your own is not a huge deal.  Doing this sort of thing on your own with an 8 month old in tow is not as easy.  I swear that when a mom hears their baby cry, it is like an epic brain scrambler.  Someone could play it over a loud speaker in some sort of warfare tactic to render her useless.  I got the water in the Jeep, and a nice man stopped by to help me get the hood back down (if you've ever lifted and lowered the hood on a Jeep, you know this was a welcomed offer).
     The gauges showed the engine was back in normal range, so I put on the hazard lights to limp it the 2 miles back home.  Long story short, I get within a half mile from the house and it is done.  Smoking/steaming again and just won't go anymore.  Here I am with Chickpea, parked on the side of the road.  Of course it is 34 degrees outside, and hubby is occupied with a ride-a-long for his EMT course over 25 minutes away.  Chickpea is no longer amused by being out and about, he is tired, cranky and screaming.  I am waiting on the engine to cool down again so that I can try to limp it the short way home. 
     My husband was within 20 minutes of being to our location when flashing lights showed up behind me.  My first thought was a police officer was checking on us, but it turned out to be a tow truck driver.  He was on his way to a call when he passed me going the other direction.  That call got cancelled, so he turned around to check on the vehicle.  When he came up, he didn't expect to find me and the baby there.  He offered to let us wait on hubby in the warmth of the truck.  I told him we lived just around the corner, and asked if he could tow it.  He said sure, and loaded us up.  The guy was so nice, and he was saying that the previous call was meant to be cancelled so that he could be available to help us.  I think he felt bad that I was stranded out in the cold with the baby.
     He unloads the Jeep in the driveway, and helps me get Chickpea out of the tow truck and he carries him in the car seat up to the door.  I then asked him how much I owe him, fearing the hefty tow bill that usually accompanies these things.  He looked at me and told me not to worry about it.  I stood there in disbelief, and asked him "are you sure?"  He said that he was, and told me to have a great night. 
     There you have it, the treat from my Halloween evening.  I thanked him when he told me this, and I thank him again here.  I appreciate you helping Chickpea & I out.  You brought light into an evening that was ending with frustrated thoughts of the repairs and associated bills with the Jeep situation.  My way of showing my appreciation to you for helping me out in a pinch, is to find the opportunity to do the same for someone else.  Thank you for the bright spot in a frustrating evening!
    
All the best,
OkieGal 

Midway Through Week 9

     It has been a busy few days.  With Halloween just around the corner, I was finishing up the costume I made for Chickpea.  It is a hoot to see him in it!  I plan to show more of the making of his costume later.  It was fun to do, and I am pleased with how it turned out.
     As I'm midway through week 9 of the transformation challenge, I am reminded today why it is a good idea to take progress photos!  It gives me a chance to see how far I have come to date.  The boost that it is giving me to see what I've done is just what I need in these last weeks.  I wanted to take a moment to remind myself of my goals during this leg of my journey.

 

 

     The 6 focuses I have set for the 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal are here. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     Overall, I know that I have done well at most of these.  The sleep piece is honestly my hardest challenge.  I find myself wanting to stay up and catch up on shows, hang out with my hubby, and see what's going on around the internet.  The great news is that even when I was down or getting off track, I still was doing more than I would have done in the past.  That is progress!
     Seeing the progress helps remind me that the small choices I make everyday make an impact over time.  I am closing in on the end of the DDP Yoga program, and while I will be continuing to do a few of the DVDs, I will also be adding in more resistance band workouts.  Specifically looking at doing the workout I posted at the beginning that mirrors what Gina Carano does.  I will continue on this journey, and will make progress.  I'm proud of what I've done so far, and will continue to work for my goals.
     Take a look for yourself!

      

 

 

 

 

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

 

 

Ups & Downs

     I am quickly realizing that this whole health and fitness journey is full of way more ups and downs than I would like to admit.  Since the whole point of writing this is to keep myself accountable, that means writing about the ups and the downs of the journey. 
     It's been interesting the last weeks.  Just when I think that I'm getting back on track, something else hits me.  For instance, I was finally getting back in a groove after my travels.  The next thing I know, both Chickpea and I are sniffling and sneezing for several days.  I had the illness through Tuesday of this week.  I took a break from my workouts, because to be completely honest, I didn't want to do moves like "down dog" with my sinuses hurting as they were. 
     On Wednesday, I felt better, but I still didn't want to get back in it.  My husband and I stayed up way too late talking about the funk that I keep finding myself dipping in and out of.  It's been difficult.  I'm struggling with my thoughts and feelings more than the physical aspect of the transformation.  I'm not sure if I'm surprised by that or more frustrated with it.  I've never been one to want to talk about my emotions and feelings around things.  I tend to try to white-knuckle it when life gets stressful.  I feel like if I just hold on tight for as long as possible, I'll eventually get through it.  This seems to work for awhile, but my husband pointed out that when you white-knuckle something for long enough it is difficult to let go. 
     As much as this blog has been focusing on the transformation challenge, since I'm human and life is intertwined, a lot of the other aspects of my life have come into play.  When challenges are hitting me in other areas of my life, it naturally is going to have some impact on health and fitness. 
     I took time the last two days to refocus.  Yesterday and today I have listened to leadership calls to help get my mind back in the game.  It also gave me steps to take to help get closer to what I want. 

 

     We also went to the gym to get my body fat percentage measured today.  This has been something I have avoided.  I did it a few years ago, and I just didn't want to face it again.  I knew I needed to do it so that I have a reference point for my progress since knowing my weight doesn't tell me much about how I'm progressing on my goals.  I was afraid to be vulnerable and get these measurements taken.  I did it anyway.  What's interesting is that I had it done, and I learned that I'm in a lot better place than I was a few years ago.  When I was about 20lbs heavier, I was at about 28% body fat.  Today, I am at 24%!  I faced the vulnerability and the fear, and got evidence of how far I've come in the last years.  It also was good to learn that I'm really not that far from where I want to be.  I got confirmation that a lot of things that I'm doing are the right things for accomplishing my goals, and I also got tips for continuing to get me there.  That was a huge boost for me!
     I will be doing more soul-searching over the weekend.  I have almost completed the 8th week of the challenge, and I know I can do great things if I set my mind to it.  I will be revisiting my goals, and as was suggested to me today, I will also be reminding myself of why I am on this journey.
     I'm sure there are more ups and downs to come.  My goal is to continue to celebrate the high points, and learn everything I can about the lows.  I will only move forward if I learn, and make adjustments.  This is possible, and I will make progress!

All the best,
OkieGal
 

Choose Your Challenge

     Life has a funny way of giving you what you need, when you need it sometimes.  This morning I had a leadership call.  You may remember me writing about the calls that set me down a better path for my life, these leadership calls are with that same group.  After I participated in Core Strength Experience, I knew I needed to continue the momentum.  I joined Michael Bernoff's leadership team, and therefore have the opportunity to participate in monthly leadership calls.
     One of the quotes that Michael mentioned today was a twist on "if you always do what you've always have done, you'll always get what you always got."  The change in the quote was, "if you always do what you've always done, you get nothing."  The concept being that if you already have it, you don't get it again.  So therefore if you keep doing the same thing, you no longer get anything more than what you got the first time.  This makes it important to keep learning new things, and continually doing new things.  I have to ask myself why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Then ask if it is getting me what I want.  If not, what can I do to change that?
     The other piece that hit me today was that no matter what we do in life, we will always have challenges.  Instead of just taking whatever challenges happen to come our way, why not choose a better challenge?  I am sick and tired of the challenge I have with being the kind of person that has a consistent, healthy lifestyle.  I've been back and forth with that challenge for a long time now.  By doing the 12-week transformation challenge, I am working to become a person that lives a consistent, healthy lifestyle.  I want to move past that challenge, and move to a new, more desirable challenge.  When I get serious about my health and make it who I am, I no longer have to worry about the challenge of being a healthy person.  I get to choose the next challenge instead of always dealing with the same one.

     How empowering is that?  I can choose to continue to have the same challenge for the rest of my life.  OR I can choose to tackle this challenge, and then move on to the next one.  This is true of fitness, finances, career, being a wife, motherhood, etc.  If I'm going to have to face a challenge, it might as well be one I choose.  It might as well be one that will get me what I want in my life!
    
All the best,
OkieGal

Got The Funk

     I have been in such a funk lately.  It's not really from a fitness and nutrition standpoint either.  I just really don't feel myself, and it happens to be impacting the rest.  It has been even more important to make myself eat well and complete each workout.  If I let myself go too much, I know I will only feel worse.
     It's really about managing my state of mind.  When my husband asked me what was going on in my head the other day, the best I could say was that I felt insignificant.  That wasn't exactly what he expected me to say.  Honestly, it sounds weird as I write it.  To be clear, I don't feel worthless or anything like that.  It's more that I was feeling like I'm going through the motions, and wondering if what I do each day really matters.
     When I take a step back, I know that what I'm doing each day does matter.  I saw a post someone shared on Facebook yesterday and it was what I needed to see.  It said, "We need time-elapsed photography to see a plant grow. The progress is so gradual that on a day-by-day basis growth is nearly impossible to see. But we can know for certain that the day will come when there's no denying the bloom!" 

     All this to say that it's important to take a step back and appreciate the big picture.  It's easy to get lost in the day to day and forget that I am making a difference.  Step by step, with each day I am moving towards my goals.  I am significant.
     When making my tea this morning, I read the tag.  It helped focus my day even more.

All the best,
OkieGal

Keep Fighting

     Slowly, but surely, I am getting back on track.  I have not really wanted to, yet I keep pushing forward.  One day at a time.  Hubby has started doing the DDP Yoga DVDs with me in addition to his gym workouts.  He told me that he thought gaining flexibility would help him with his weight lifting.  This is definitely true, and I know stretching out helps.  Part of me also has wondered if he could sense that I need the extra motivation right now.  It's harder to slack off when you have a workout buddy.
     The other thing I'm wondering is if my vitamin D levels are low again.  Several weeks ago I ran out of my vitamin D supplement, and have failed to buy more.  This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it is for me.  In the past I have experienced the overwhelming feeling of wanting to crawl in bed or in a cave somewhere and hide.  I wouldn't want to do anything and I was just overall feeling down.  When I went to the doctor they did blood work, and come to find out my vitamin D level was not at the 30-50 level they want.  Mine was at 17.  The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency are a lot like depression.  I started taking a supplement at to help get me back up to normal levels.  When I go off of it for a long time, I start feeling the symptoms again.  So for me, I have to stay on a supplement.  This was the case for me, may not be for everyone. 
     Add on top of the likely vitamin D deficiency me thinking a lot about my friend Jessie the last few days, and you have one unmotivated gal! 

     Again, I always feel good when I do my workout.  It's just flipping that switch to go from wanting to lay on the couch to working out that is a challenge right now.  I will fight through this, and I will keep going.  One step at a time.

All the best,
OkieGal

Is It Really Week 6?

     The last week has been an absolute rollercoaster.  My trip to California was bittersweet, and I made it back to Kansas just in time to turn around and begin a drive to Oklahoma.  This is when life happened and in the past it would be knocking me off track.

 

     I'll be completely honest, for the last week as I said goodbye to my dear friend Jessie, and then went to Oklahoma to speak at a ladies' Bible study, I didn't really think much about the transformation challenge.  When I left for the airport that Saturday, I had a feeling it would be difficult to stay on track.  I was talking to my husband about it yesterday, and determined that it would do me no good to retroactively track my nutrition for that week.  There's nothing that could be done about it at this point, and it would just leave me feeling bad.
     Instead, I have decided to focus on moving forward.  This week is about rebuilding a sense of normal for me.  On one hand, I feel guilty doing that.  On the other, I know that it's something I need to do.  The only way I can truly honor Jessie is through striving for my dreams and loving the life I've been given.

 

     I have learned that in very stressful situations, my eating is non-existent.  I did a mental check of what I ate while on my trip to California, and it wasn't much.  Sometimes it was because of circumstances like trying to make a connecting flight, and other times it was just the fact that I didn't even think about it.  In contrast, my Oklahoma trip was less stressful, and I was wanting to eat more comfort foods.  I feel like the two trips balanced each other out in that regard.
     I did do my progress photos, and will post them here.  I am not seeing huge differences yet, I do feel a difference though.  The trips reminded me of that.  When I am eating well and staying active, I feel so much better.  Just doing a short workout last night helped me stretch out.  I will persevere. 
     While I don't feel like I failed, the quote above is still a good kick in the pants.  Keep going.  That's what I have to keep telling myself.  It's about getting back into it more quickly than I did the last time.  Instead of letting myself be thrown off and wake up 3 months later wondering why I couldn't keep it up, I am back after a week.  That's progress, and that's what this is all about. 

All the best,
OkieGal

 

 

I Don't Wear Pink

     It's not that I have anything against the color pink, it just has never been my color.  I own a few outfits that have pink in them, and even have a pink dress.  Today I wear pink.  I dug and found the one shirt I have, and I wore it and a smile for someone very dear to me.

     I can't say that I know where this post will go.  I know that I need to write something, and I will do my best for it all to make sense in the end.  Thanks in advance for hanging with me on this one.
     Several years ago, I joined a website called Policewives.org.  At the time my husband had been in law enforcement for over a year.  I was feeling in need of somewhere to go to talk to others that understood what it meant to be the wife to someone in law enforcement.  Through that site I was put in contact with many wonderful women.  Women that came together because of a mutual understanding of the LEO life, and then became bonded together, forever sisters. 
     Over the years I have had the opportunity to meet several of these women in person.  It's one of these women that I'd like to write about now.  Her name is Jessie.  We mostly interacted through the PW website and on Facebook, writing posts here and there. 
     In the last several years, fortunately for me, travel for work began taking me repeatedly out to California.  In May of 2011, I was out there for a conference, and got the idea to see if Jessie wanted to meet.  She was so excited!  Jessie and her husband picked me up from the airport and took me to my hotel where we sat in the lobby and talked like we'd known each other all our lives.  I don't remember how long we sat there, the time flew by.  We laughed a lot, and had a wonderful time chatting.
     Fall 2011 was the next time I went to California, and I was a short flight away from them.  I asked Jessie if it would be okay for me to visit them for a few days after my conference.  She was more than happy to have me.  We planned to go to Reno for a trip to the air races with her brother and husband along too.  She took me to her favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch and we talked.  We laughed and had a wonderful time.  I got to meet her mother, and enjoyed the time the three of us chatted.  That evening, before it was time to drive to Reno, we learned that a horrible crash had occurred at the air race that day.  They cancelled the races for the day we were supposed to attend.  Not letting that get us down, we all packed up for Reno anyway.  We had a great time talking, going to the auto museum, visiting the planetarium, and going out to dinner.
     The third time I got to see Jessie, it was because of a conference in the fall of 2013.  It was to be one of my last trips since I was pregnant with Chickpea at the time.  I let her know I was headed her way again, and she was ready to welcome me with open arms.  Jessie, her husband, brother, and dad all came and picked me up at the hotel.  The first thing she asked to do was rub my belly to meet Chickpea.  She was so happy for us!  They took me to Off the Grid, which is where a bunch of food trucks gather in one location.  We had a blast going to different trucks and trying food.  One of the funniest moments was when we went to the bacon truck to get a piece of chocolate covered bacon for me to take home to my hubby.  Jessie wanted so badly for him to have it that she begged the truck workers to see if they had any left.  Sure enough they had one piece.  The funny part came when later she hugged one of the truck owners and thanked him for finding us the piece of bacon for her friend that was visiting all the way from Kansas.  Turns out it was the truck owner for a different truck!  It was so cute.  We laughed a lot and Jessie took it in stride.  You never know, maybe he needed a hug!  We got a picture in front of that bacon truck, and for the life of me I cannot find it.  It was also on this trip that she gave me this pin.

     I am just returning from the fourth visit I have made to see Jessie.  This trip was by far the hardest.  My friend spent 3.5 years fighting the wretched disease known as breast cancer.  Every visit that I took out there she was battling this disease, and every time I saw her she was smiling and doing everything she could to make my visit enjoyable.  She took the diagnosis as a reason to live every moment to its fullest.  She got her diving certification while on chemo treatments, and took a special trip to dive in the beautiful, warm waters.  She had a special road trip that involved meeting as many of her PW sisters as possible.
     It is so hard to realize that my fourth trip to see her was the last time I would get to see her.  She had been released from the hospital to hospice care.  She was going home to fight for as long as she could being comfortable, instead of having to deal with the horrible side effects of chemo treatments.  When I learned of this last week, I felt compelled to see her.  I booked my flights and hotel quickly.  It wasn't because I thought she was going quickly, but because I knew she needed love and support after having just lost her dad less than a week before getting the difficult news about her own health. 
     My travel out there was crazy to say the least.  I got diverted to Albuquerque, NM while trying to get to Phoenix because of the huge storms.  A night in NM, and I was travelling again Sunday morning to try to get to see her.  All this with Chickpea in tow!
     I got there with the help of her husband coming to get me from the closest place I could fly into, which was 70 miles away.  I spent Sunday afternoon and evening, as well as all day Monday with her and her family.  I could tell that she was fighting hard when I got there Sunday, yet she was still smiling and so glad to see us.  She got to hold Chickpea, which I am so glad for.  She was even apologizing to me for "being a mess."         
    

 

     Sunday she was not as alert, a lot of this had to do with the side effects of medications she was on to keep her comfortable.  At the end of the day I was getting ready to go back to the hotel for the evening.  I would be flying out the next day to come home.  I sat to tell her I was leaving and she said "oh honey," and again tried to apologize for being a mess.  I told her she was an inspiration to so many and that she is so strong.  She smiled.  I let her know that any time I don't think I have the strength to do something, I think of her.  I gave her hugs and kissed her forehead and told her to keep fighting.  I also let her know I'd be in touch. 

     I am so glad that I made it out to see her.  I never would have thought that the next morning when I was headed to the airport that I would be learning of her passing.  She always said that cancer would not beat her.  She was right, it didn't.  She fought to the last breath.  It may have taken her physically from us, but it never will beat her spirit and the impact that she has had on those around her.

     Because of her, I have been connected with her wonderful family and been able to meet several of the other police wives.

     I wear pink for her.  I wear the pin she gave me.  I also wear a smile for her.  Knowing that is what she always brought to me and so many others.  I won't let cancer take that either. 

     I love you Jessie, and you will always be in my heart.  I thank you for showing me what strength is and what living life to its fullest with no excuses is all about.  You are beautiful through and through.  You inspire me to continue to go after my dreams, and live my life to the fullest.  Once a sister, always a sister.

 

All the best,

OkieGal