A Little Introspection

     I have a few things I'm trying to work through currently.  I know I have come so much further than I was before.  I am still having a challenge with certain aspects of healthy living.  At the foundation of my health/fitness journey, I feel like I am struggling with my "why." Meaning why it is important to me, and why I keep going. I am not yet at a point where I just love working out. It still hasn't clicked for me on a consistent basis.
     I completed the 12 week transformation challenge and did well, and feel like there are some great habits that I'm continuing to build on. I enjoy the DDP Yoga DVDs that I'm doing, yet in order to get further results I feel I will need to do more. Where I struggle is that it seems the fit body & healthy me hasn't been enough to motivate and excite me to do what I need to do each day.
     My husband and I were talking about it at length today, and I realized that one of the few time periods in my life that I didn't feel out of place in the gym was when I was doing karate. I was motivated at the gym because anything I was doing was helping to strengthen me for my karate classes. Our tight budget, which hopefully will ease up soon, was the main reason for dropping karate (I also paused when I had Chickpea, who is 11 months now). 

 
      Another piece of the puzzle is that in general I feel like the active, fit person who loves to workout is still aspirational for me currently. In a way, anytime I go to the gym, I feel out of place. It's almost like I feel as though I'm pretending. I can have a workout plan and everything written down to follow, and while doing it at the gym I feel awkward. I have only been working out from home since Chickpea was born, and I know that if I got someone to watch him so that I could go to the gym I would have to face that awkwardness.
     All these thoughts have me asking questions of others that are also working on their fitness journey.  The questions I asked them are:  Is it possible that the love of working out will never click, and it is something that I will always be forcing myself to do? When did it click for you? Did you have to find a passion?
      At the end of it all, I really do want to find a way to just enjoy working out. I want it to be a part of who I am. I currently feel like I'm a little kid playing dress up. It's something I'm playing at, but in reality it is not me. I want to be consistent, because I know that when I have fallen off course it really dings my self-confidence.
     I will continue to explore this, and plan to write more about it after getting feedback from others on it.  If you have feedback or thoughts you'd like to share on this topic, I'd love to hear it!

All the best,
OkieGal

Challenge Results and Overall Progress

     November 24th, 2014 marked the end of the 12-week transformation challenge that I was a part of with No Excuse Moms.  It was an interesting experience overall, and I am so glad that I participated!  The challenge was a contest, and had many amazing women that were awarded cash prizes.  You can take a look and find inspiration in each of their transformation stories if you visit the No Excuse Mom webpage.
     While I didn't win a cash prize or anything like that, I did gain so much from taking on the challenge.  I am sharing my transformation story here, along with pictures showing progress.  I took a moment to put me at one of my heavier weights from Dec 2010 next to my before (Aug 2014) and after (Nov 2014) pictures from the transformation challenge.  You will see quite a change!  I am excited for how far I have come!

     Here is my transformation story as submitted to judges for the challenge:

     For many years I’ve fought a war with health and fitness.  While I never had extreme weight gain, I wasn’t happy with the reflection in the mirror.  I fought a yo-yoing battle of gaining and losing weight, starting and stopping exercise plans, and going between feeling confident and feeling down.  My heaviest, non-pregnancy, weight was 138lbs on my 5’1” frame.  I knew I needed to be healthy and fit, but it wasn’t sticking.  Typically I started with excitement, stuck with it temporarily, and then something knocked me astray.  Instead of bouncing back, I said “screw it,” and found myself months down the road, spiraling back into bad feelings. 

     On top of my internal battle, people looked at me and asked why I was concerned with weight.  I thought that maybe they were right; maybe I wasn't being grateful for what I had.  However, I was the one seeing what they couldn't see beneath my clothes.  I felt guilty for wanting to improve, yet deep down I wanted change.  I began to lose weight and had gotten down to 125lbs when I found out I was pregnant in June 2013.  I was determined to have a healthy, active pregnancy.  I did well, and within 2 weeks postpartum I was back to pre-pregnancy weight.  With activity, healthy nutrition, and help from breastfeeding, I got to 110lbs. 

     Enter the 12-week challenge.  After finally tackling the weight, I knew I had the opportunity for more.  I could focus on consistency with the healthy lifestyle, and reach for goals hidden deep inside.  The night I decided to do the challenge I sat crying as I talked to my husband.  I didn’t want to admit that my goal was to have a defined, fit, and strong body.  Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve it, and feelings of being ungrateful crept back.  With his support I decided the challenge was what I desperately needed.  My goals were to create a consistent, healthy lifestyle so afterward I could focus on building and defining muscle.  I knew that I would struggle if I didn’t get my attitude and mind in the right place. 

 

     What an amazing ride!  I started out strong and excited, had bumps in the road that tried to derail me, and through it all I did better than expected!  I exercise more often than before, and my nutrition has improved by planning my treats.  The biggest battle was not physical, but mental.  I fought through excuses, and wanting to quit.  Sometimes I skipped a workout, but I bounced back quicker than before.  The biggest breakthrough was in week 11.  I realized treats that were no big deal before made me sick, so sick that I skipped my workout.  Not only does my body prefer healthy foods, for the first time in my life I was sad to miss a workout.  At 9 months postpartum, primarily I’ve gained confidence.  I made great progress and look forward to reaching my next goal!

 

     It was great to write out my progress, because it helped me to acknowledge how far I have come.  Truly the biggest battle I have fought was within.  Doing this has proven that I can follow through on what I set my mind to.  That gives me even more confidence, which propels me on to the next challenge.  I am currently trying a new program by adding resistance bands and allowing that to help take me to the next level.  My Nov 2014 pictures are my new before pics!  We have been told that in January they will be starting another 12-week challenge.  I will be joining again to help keep my momentum going.  I'll post when it starts up, and hope there are others that want to join in too!

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

Overthinking and Me

     Confession time, I can be quite the over thinker.  In the last week I was over-analyzing things so badly that I actually began to analyze my over-analysis!  That's quite impressive if I do say so myself.  The challenge with this is that it brought on my anxiety about the end of the 12-week transformation challenge. 
     I was spinning, as my husband affectionately calls it.  I was thinking and talking on and on about what I would do next after the challenge to keep the momentum going.  I was over-analyzing it to the point that I was getting nowhere fast. 
     What's funny is that when I stopped and decided to take action instead of just thinking about it, I finally got past it.  I first asked myself, would I be able to go to the gym or would I be working out at home?  The answer for me at this time is still at home.  So then I thought, what do I have here at home that I could use?  Resistance bands!  We have a whole set from when we did P90X.  Then I did a quick Google search for resistance band workout plans, and found a couple of options.  Within 5 minutes I chose one I will be trying.  If you want to take a look, it is here on Bodybuilding.com.  I printed it out, and by doing so I was no longer anxious about the next round.  Combining this new workout program with my DDP Yoga DVDs, I believe I will progress even more.

     I will write more about the end of this 12-week challenge tomorrow.  I spent some time today writing my transformation story, which I'll share here.  I also have to take my final pictures and measurements.  I've enjoyed this despite the ups and downs.  I've learned a lot and now that I have a plan for my next stage, I feel so much better.  I believe that my brain was throwing up excuses and fears to put another bump in my path.  The key is to recognize those things for what they are, and get out of the overthinking by making a decision and taking action.
     I look forward to tomorrow.  It is not only the close of this stage, it is the beginning of my next stage to reaching my ultimate targets!

All the best,
OkieGal

Anxious For Days Ahead

     I've been feeling a bit anxious about the end of the challenge coming so soon.  Not so much concerned with how I did, it is more about what happens after the challenge.  I feel like having the 12-week transformation challenge in front of me has pushed me to continue on the journey.  It would be very easy to fall back in the trap of my old habits just because the challenge ended.  The important thing for me to do in this transition between the end of the challenge and the beginning of the next phase of my journey is to take another look at my goals, and begin to adjust them for my next target.

     In the last week I started doing a couple of the Extreme DDP Yoga workouts to start kicking it to the next level.  There is a lot I can work on in those DVDs.  I did get the closest I have ever gotten to doing the splits though, so that's even better than I thought I could do!  We have resistance bands from when we got the P90X system, and I will be working to get at home workouts together that incorporate them. 
     I will also be working to get even more protein into my diet.  Currently, I need to do an even better job of making sure my carb, protein, and healthy fat ratios are balanced.  I know that I'm on the right track, this area is about making small adjustments.
     The piece that I have had more trouble with than I expected is getting enough sleep.  Last night I got to sleep at 2am, and had to get up for work as usual this morning.  If I want to give my body the best chance to recover and be healthy, I will need to take this aspect more seriously.  Things happen, but more often than not it is just me dilly-dallying around!
     I'm looking forward to the next phase, and I know I will be able to do it.  I just need to keep the momentum from the challenge going to propel me forward.

All the best,
OkieGal 

Winds of Change

     Today I have felt a change, a true change.  It's not the physical challenge that has been the most difficult, it has been a mental battle for me to take on this 12-week transformation challenge.  Today I have finally truly felt something that my husband has said he has for a long time.  I'll explain.
     It was my planned treat meal today.  My husband, Chickpea, and I had gone to the store, and then went to go grab something to eat.  The choice of meal and dessert that I made were both things that I have had before.  In fact, they were both places I had eaten as treats in the early weeks of this challenge.
     The first major difference I found, my body did not react well to the food this time.  Without going into too much detail, I had to leave Chickpea in a safe place on two different occasions this evening as once I threw up and the other time was other bathroom issues.  Not fun at all.  What it made me realize though is that I have made progress with my nutrition.  My body no longer handles well what used to be no problem.  Too much grease, and too much sweet is just more than it can take.  That is a good thing!  I am training my body to eat even better, which will help me to reach my goals even more!
     The second difference is quite a change for me.  I am actually bummed that my stomach is still so out of sorts that I can't do my planned workout this evening.  Let me say that again, I actually for the first time EVER am sad that I can't complete my workout!  That, my friends, is huge for me!  Hubby would tell me that he hates to miss his workout, and I just never understood.  Here I am with a bright, shining light bulb above my head because I finally get it.  If nothing else is, that is a sign of progress.

     Does this mean I'll never struggle with wanting to do a workout again?  No.  There will always be days that I am challenged.  Rising above that challenge more often than not is what will give me progress.  I leave you with a song that inspires me in many aspects of my life.  Take a listen and read the lyrics below.

All the best,
OkieGal

Alter Bridge "Before Tomorrow Comes" Lyrics:

I couldn't sleep I had to listen
To a conscience knowing so well
That nothing comes from indifference
I look inside of myself

Will I find some kind of conviction?
Will I bid the hero farewell?
Will I be defined by things that could have been?
I guess time will only tell
I guess time will only tell

[Chorus:]
So don't let it be
Before tomorrow comes
Before you turn away
Take the hand in need
Before tomorrow comes
You could change everything

I curse my worth and every comfort
That blinded me for way too long
Damn it all I'll make a difference from now on
Cause I'm wide awake to it all
Cause I'm wide awake to it all

[Chorus]

Does anyone care it ain't right what we're doing?
Does anyone care it ain't right where we're going?
Does anyone dare justify how we're living?
Does anyone here care at all?

[Chorus]

We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
Oh this much I know

Wrapping Week 10

     When I look at the calendar, it is amazing to see that there are only 2 weeks left in the transformation challenge.  I've actually been reading through some of my early posts to see how I've progressed so far, and remind me of where I started. 
     While I plan to do more review and speak to that towards the end of the challenge, I did notice an interesting difference over the last few days.  As I mentioned in my last post, I have found that I miss doing the workouts when I don't do them.  My body feels better when I keep moving and stretching throughout the week.  There will be times that I may not be able to practically complete my workouts, yet I now know that stretching out is a better choice for me than doing no workout at all.  My hip and back are especially benefiting from the DDP Yoga I have been doing, and I truly feel it helps relieve stress as well.

 

     In addition to noticing this difference about my physical activity, I notice it with my nutrition as well.  If my food choices skew more towards unhealthy options, I begin to feel the impact.  A treat here and there doesn't seem to be a big deal, it is when I choose the less healthy options for several days in a row that it really makes an impact.  My stomach is more upset and overall I feel weighed down.
     I have found myself wanting to get back into the healthy routine faster each time I stray from it, and this is definitely progress.  Early on in the challenge I was fighting my thoughts to not do the workouts.  Now I am jumping back into them with less resistance.  This is proof that the shifts in my life and the decisions I am making are impacting me for the better over the long term.  Two weeks to go, and I am excited to finish strong!

All the best,
OkieGal 

Turning a Corner

     Week 10 is coming to an end, and I'm finding that while they are small, little shifts are occurring in my life as it relates to health and fitness.  We have had guests over the last few days, and so I haven't been as diligent with my workouts as I usually am.  If I'm honest, that's just fancy talk for using it as an excuse. 
     Today I woke up early feeling sore and my joints/muscles felt tight, and I couldn't get back to sleep.  In the past this would have made me think that I needed a break from my workouts.  Surely it is the activity that is causing me pain.  This morning I decided to go downstairs and put in one of my DVD workouts to see if the movement would help relieve the pain in my back.  I am so glad I did!  Instead of being sore because of my workouts, I was actually sore from not having done one in a few days. 
     That is a great realization to have, and will only help me to continue to stay on track.  When I recognize that the healthier lifestyle is improving my quality of life, I will have a more positive outlook on continuing to be healthy.  The more positive view I have, the more I will make it a priority. 
     I know that the mental game is the most challenging part.  If I only see the negative or focus on it, that is what will continue to show up in life.  I will see the downward spiral instead of appreciating and enjoying the positive.  There is so much to be thankful for, and so much positive to find even in the most difficult situations.  This is true of life in general.
     I have turned a corner by having this realization.  Knowing the fact that a lifestyle will help me to feel better is only part of it.  I still will have to make choices to support that lifestyle.  I still will have to battle the thoughts in my head that tell me to just take today off, or have another treat here or there.  The great thing is, the more I remember feeling better after working out, the more I will want to work out.  It will begin to lay a foundation that makes it easier and easier to fight those battles.
     A small shift, yet it is an important one that I will continue to make and continue to capitalize on.

All the best,
OkieGal        

Midway Through Week 9

     It has been a busy few days.  With Halloween just around the corner, I was finishing up the costume I made for Chickpea.  It is a hoot to see him in it!  I plan to show more of the making of his costume later.  It was fun to do, and I am pleased with how it turned out.
     As I'm midway through week 9 of the transformation challenge, I am reminded today why it is a good idea to take progress photos!  It gives me a chance to see how far I have come to date.  The boost that it is giving me to see what I've done is just what I need in these last weeks.  I wanted to take a moment to remind myself of my goals during this leg of my journey.

 

 

     The 6 focuses I have set for the 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal are here. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     Overall, I know that I have done well at most of these.  The sleep piece is honestly my hardest challenge.  I find myself wanting to stay up and catch up on shows, hang out with my hubby, and see what's going on around the internet.  The great news is that even when I was down or getting off track, I still was doing more than I would have done in the past.  That is progress!
     Seeing the progress helps remind me that the small choices I make everyday make an impact over time.  I am closing in on the end of the DDP Yoga program, and while I will be continuing to do a few of the DVDs, I will also be adding in more resistance band workouts.  Specifically looking at doing the workout I posted at the beginning that mirrors what Gina Carano does.  I will continue on this journey, and will make progress.  I'm proud of what I've done so far, and will continue to work for my goals.
     Take a look for yourself!

      

 

 

 

 

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

 

 

Keep Fighting

     Slowly, but surely, I am getting back on track.  I have not really wanted to, yet I keep pushing forward.  One day at a time.  Hubby has started doing the DDP Yoga DVDs with me in addition to his gym workouts.  He told me that he thought gaining flexibility would help him with his weight lifting.  This is definitely true, and I know stretching out helps.  Part of me also has wondered if he could sense that I need the extra motivation right now.  It's harder to slack off when you have a workout buddy.
     The other thing I'm wondering is if my vitamin D levels are low again.  Several weeks ago I ran out of my vitamin D supplement, and have failed to buy more.  This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it is for me.  In the past I have experienced the overwhelming feeling of wanting to crawl in bed or in a cave somewhere and hide.  I wouldn't want to do anything and I was just overall feeling down.  When I went to the doctor they did blood work, and come to find out my vitamin D level was not at the 30-50 level they want.  Mine was at 17.  The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency are a lot like depression.  I started taking a supplement at to help get me back up to normal levels.  When I go off of it for a long time, I start feeling the symptoms again.  So for me, I have to stay on a supplement.  This was the case for me, may not be for everyone. 
     Add on top of the likely vitamin D deficiency me thinking a lot about my friend Jessie the last few days, and you have one unmotivated gal! 

     Again, I always feel good when I do my workout.  It's just flipping that switch to go from wanting to lay on the couch to working out that is a challenge right now.  I will fight through this, and I will keep going.  One step at a time.

All the best,
OkieGal

Is It Really Week 6?

     The last week has been an absolute rollercoaster.  My trip to California was bittersweet, and I made it back to Kansas just in time to turn around and begin a drive to Oklahoma.  This is when life happened and in the past it would be knocking me off track.

 

     I'll be completely honest, for the last week as I said goodbye to my dear friend Jessie, and then went to Oklahoma to speak at a ladies' Bible study, I didn't really think much about the transformation challenge.  When I left for the airport that Saturday, I had a feeling it would be difficult to stay on track.  I was talking to my husband about it yesterday, and determined that it would do me no good to retroactively track my nutrition for that week.  There's nothing that could be done about it at this point, and it would just leave me feeling bad.
     Instead, I have decided to focus on moving forward.  This week is about rebuilding a sense of normal for me.  On one hand, I feel guilty doing that.  On the other, I know that it's something I need to do.  The only way I can truly honor Jessie is through striving for my dreams and loving the life I've been given.

 

     I have learned that in very stressful situations, my eating is non-existent.  I did a mental check of what I ate while on my trip to California, and it wasn't much.  Sometimes it was because of circumstances like trying to make a connecting flight, and other times it was just the fact that I didn't even think about it.  In contrast, my Oklahoma trip was less stressful, and I was wanting to eat more comfort foods.  I feel like the two trips balanced each other out in that regard.
     I did do my progress photos, and will post them here.  I am not seeing huge differences yet, I do feel a difference though.  The trips reminded me of that.  When I am eating well and staying active, I feel so much better.  Just doing a short workout last night helped me stretch out.  I will persevere. 
     While I don't feel like I failed, the quote above is still a good kick in the pants.  Keep going.  That's what I have to keep telling myself.  It's about getting back into it more quickly than I did the last time.  Instead of letting myself be thrown off and wake up 3 months later wondering why I couldn't keep it up, I am back after a week.  That's progress, and that's what this is all about. 

All the best,
OkieGal

 

 

The Voices Return

     It is so odd.  With my workouts I have been rolling along fine, and then today it was just tough.  I was 10 minutes in, and all I wanted to do was stop.  It was a mental battle the whole time.  I had to keep telling myself to make it a few more minutes, a constant personal pep talk for the entirety of the workout.  The important point is that I finished it.
     I am to the point in my workout program that it is getting more challenging.  This is the last week that has more than one rest day allotted.  So we're really ramping up.  I believe subconsciously that my fears are creeping in, and so my brain is saying, "abort, abort!"  I'm getting to the difficult part, and it's getting real.  The goals that I have set are before me, and the fear is coming strong.  That little voice that thinks I can't really accomplish it, and thinks that I'm going fail is trying to make itself heard. 
    

    
     Times like this, I remind myself that I am capable of this goal.  It is about releasing the potential within.  I have the strength within me, it is about putting the work in to let it shine.  It will not be easy.  That is what will make the accomplishment so much more exciting to obtain.  By working hard and pushing through these challenges, I will appreciate the progress all the more. 
     It was a tough workout from a mental perspective.  I finished it, and I'm better for it.

All the best,
OkieGal

Nutrition Revelation

     This week has been an improvement when it comes to nutrition for me.  I have gotten within striking distance of my calorie goal, and am doing better on the ratios too!  I'm still feeling some aches here and there, yet have continued to stick with the workouts.  I've been modifying if needed to avoid truly injuring myself.  The infused water pitcher has been a great way for me to consistently get my ounces in.  The main area with some progress still needed is getting to bed & to sleep at a more reasonable hour.  I've improved here, just need to continue that focus.
     I mentioned before that my need to focus on overall health had, in part, to do with the fact that I have been told by the doctor several times that my cholesterol was high.  This is still the case, in addition there is another reason that nutrition has become a greater focus for me.  That reason is Chickpea.  From very early on, Chickpea was showing great interest in the activity of eating.  He enjoys watching us eat.  He thought it was funny at first, and then became more interested in what we were doing.  He wanted to try it to!

 

     This made me think about what I was modeling for him.  I knew that I wanted him to try real foods.  I had planned to make his food for several reasons.  One is that it would be easier to just make extra of foods we were already buying.  Two is that it's cheaper.  Three, I want Chickpea to get a taste of real food before anything that has been packaged or processed is introduced.  Fourth, it's easy and cheap! 
     I got myself something quick one day, and Chickpea was showing interest.  I sat there and thought, "I would love to share from my plate, but how can I do that when I'm not eating the things that he can or should eat?"  It made me think about what I was modeling and what I want him to see and do.
     Now that I'm getting my nutrition on track, I feel much better about what I'm showing him.  He will also see that it's fun to have a treat from time to time.  That's the point.  I'll be giving him an example of a balanced look at food.  He will have the opportunity to appreciate healthy foods, and also still be a kid and have a treat here and there. 
     I am learning a lot and really thinking about why I do what I do.  It became obvious now that Chickpea is here, I had to adjust what I am doing nutritionally.  Not just to make sure I am here for him for as long as possible, but also to make sure I am giving him the best example I can of a healthy, balanced life.

All the best,
OkieGal

Transition

     After a rough start to the week, yesterday and today have been better.  Chickpea was in rare form today, but it was nothing too crazy.  He mostly is wanting to explore and wiggle around, and he is still working on the whole mobility thing.  It ends up being a pretty funny combination.  He finds the most interesting ways to get around.  When he wasn't playing or wiggling near me, he insisted on clinging to me.  He finally got his wiggles out and is snoozing away.
     Today is a rest day for the DDP Yoga program, so I decided to get Chickpea out of the house.  He got a stroller ride to the park down the road and we did a few laps before coming back home.  It was a total of about 30 minutes, and while it was overcast the humidity helped get me sweating.  I opted for a quick paced walk today instead of jogging.  My knees need a bit of a break, and my goal was just to be moving, and ultimately give Chickpea a change of scenery for awhile.
     I feel like I'm falling into familiar territory with my workout.  While this is week 3 of the transformation challenged, I am on week 8 of the DDP Yoga advanced schedule.  The schedule is 13 weeks long, so I'm in the last half of it.  This is a time period with most workouts that I start to really feel it in my body.  I'm not injured, I am just sore.  My joints are achy and overall tired.  I know this is my body adjusting to it all.  In the past, this is also about the time I'd start letting up.  I would take more rest days until I wasn't doing much of anything.  Then I'd be right back where I started.

     I'm having to remind myself to keep going.  I'm glad that I'm still in the early part of the 12 week challenge while this feeling is hitting me.  I believe that it will give me the push I need to make it through this part of my workout journey.  I am going to apply something I learned from the labor and delivery process.  There's a portion of labor called "transition," and in my childbirth class we talked about it being the part where I would feel like I couldn't do it anymore and want to give up.  Having those feelings meant that I was almost ready to push.  It was remembering this concept that helped me get through transition and to pushing without asking for pain meds (my goal was a natural, pain med free childbirth, as long as baby and I were healthy.  Technically didn't have it natural since I was induced and they used Pitocin, but I did get through without pain meds).  I need to remember that my body is transitioning from not working out regularly to having fitness be part of my regular schedule.  I have to give myself a chance to fight through it.  Just keep going.
     This is where taking it one day at a time helps make it all manageable.  Day by day, I will continue this journey, and I will make progress!

All the best,
OkieGal
      

A Case of the Mondays

     What a day!  Today was just rough.  I woke up with a headache, and I can feel the tension in the base of my head/neck has built up.  I am not a fan of this, just because I know it has lead to migraines for me in the past.  Add on top of that the fact that Chickpea was also having some fussy time today, and it just made it difficult.  I also discovered that several of the produce items that I had purchased on Saturday have mold on them, so I was none too thrilled about that.  To give a visual, late in the afternoon my husband comes home from the gym.  He walks in and Chickpea is in the play yard crying, and I'm sitting in the chair next to it eating my lunch with tears rolling too.  Honestly, I think Chickpea was sensing my tension and also he was having tummy issues.  Long story short, it was just "ugh!"
     The evening was a lot better, and I found myself looking forward to my workout.  This hasn't been the case previously.  I was looking at it as a stress relief, and a way to end the day on track.  It felt good to stretch out, and I have the good after workout high to help my headache as well.
     During the early evening, I was playing on the floor with Chickpea.  He is working on crawling right now, and I noticed he has a pattern when he's learning something new.  Long before he can physically do the action (whether it is rolling over or crawling), you can tell he wants to do it so bad.  He tries and tries and gets so frustrated that he's not doing what he knows he wants to do.  He'll get so frustrated that he will just lay on the floor, arms folded with his head down.  He may not realize it yet, but he is so close to his break through.  He soon will have the physical motions down, and be able to accomplish his goal.  Watching him do this, I know he has to feel that frustration first.  Once he hits the frustration, it will drive him to do more.  Once he gets that drive, he accomplishes the action he wants to take.  If he reacts like he did with rolling over, he will also be seen showing great joy in his success.  Then he'll be onto the next thing to learn.

     This made me think about myself.  One of my several motivations for challenging myself is to be better for Chickpea.  He watches me, and I want him to see a confident Mama that shows him balance in life.  Eating healthy, while allowing for treats.  Working hard, while celebrating my accomplishments.  Appreciating who I am, while always striving to be even better.  Helping others, while also taking care of myself.  Living a life focused on the Lord.
     I also remembered that I am learning a lot from him.  I will have frustrations in life, and I may need to cry it out.  At the end of the day though, I will pick up and try again.  I will keep going, and I will be determined to accomplish my goals.  I will also celebrate the successes I have, no matter how small.  Then choose the next action to learn more about, and do it.
     I must remember it is about progress.  While today had a rough start, it is what I did with it that mattered.  I celebrate the lesson that Chickpea taught me today, and I will celebrate with him when he accomplishes his own goal!

All the best,
OkieGal 

Wrapping Up Week 2

     Another week has come to a close for my transformation challenge, and I am happy with how it is going so far!  Currently I am enjoying watching my Sooners on TV after having my treat meal for the week.  Burger, fries, and ice cream for dessert.  It was glorious!  It's funny how after eating healthy through the week, the treat is quite a shock to the system.  I enjoy the treat, but I find myself ready to eat healthy again afterwards.  The best of both worlds!

     Overall things are going well.  My water intake is progressing.  Today I got off to a slow start.  I still will have had more water than I used to, so it's been great progress for me.  I completed all my planned workouts, and only cut one short this week.  Again, progress.  My nutrition goals suffered a little bit when we were running out of groceries late in the week.  I got a Costco membership using a Living Social deal, and replenished our supplies today.  It is a step in the right direction for setting me up for progress in this area.
     I am already starting to notice muscle building in my legs, booty, and abs.  My husband mentioned the other day that he was noticing slight definition in my pec muscles as well.  I've been doing a lot of planks and push ups! 
     For this upcoming week, I will work to continue my momentum with water consumption and workout consistency.  I want to give special attention to my nutrition to get more consistency with it.  I also will be working to get more sleep.  This is always easier said than done with a 7 month old in the house.  I feel like it will help me have more energy and get better results overall.

 

     I am thankful for all that I have in my life.  Especially those around me that have been so supportive.  It is a difficult process to look inside yourself and admit to changes that need to be made in your life.  It has been very important to have my husband, my accountability partner, the ladies of the No Excuse Moms groups, and many others that have continued to cheer me on.  This is so much more than a physical transformation for me.  It is building consistency in my life that will bring even more confidence in myself.  Thank you!

All the best,
OkieGal

 

Strive for Progress

     The last two days have been interesting.  My water intake is definitely improved by quite a bit.  I have consistently consumed at least 80oz of water every day since Tuesday.  That's definitely a step in the right direction!  I also found it easier to get back into the workout groove after my rest day on Wednesday.  There were still a few thoughts about skipping Thursday's workout.  It was good to see that there weren't as many, and it wasn't as difficult to get back to it.
     The area that was a bit more challenging yesterday and today was my nutrition.  I am not able to go to the grocery store until tomorrow, so we've been playing the game of trying to piece together meals with not a lot of ingredients to choose from.  It's always interesting to see what your creativity comes up with, but I have found that times like these are when bad habits are more likely to creep in.  The good news is that even when I did grab something quick, I made healthier choices about what I got. 
     An example of this was we had Jimmy John's delivered for lunch yesterday.  Typically I would get one of the sub sandwiches.  Yesterday, I decided that I would get the sub that I normally would want in their lettuce wrap ("unwich") form, have them go light on the condiments, and use the Ezekiel bread we had here at home.  I also refrained from getting any extras like chips or a coke.  It was proof that I could still grab a bite to eat, and not go completely off the rails from a nutrition perspective.

 

     The other difficulty I had with less options in house was not meeting my calorie goal for the day.  The calorie amount would have been decent if I was looking to lose weight.  Since my goal is to build muscle, it wasn't ideal.  No worries though, I'll be getting back on track tomorrow.
     I feel like the biggest win for me out of all this is the fact that I didn't beat myself up over it.  Things happen.  My accountability buddy pointed out that sometimes we have to do the best with the options we have at that time.  I did, and I feel awesome about that.  Those are the little steps that make this possible.  It is about a lifestyle, not a quick fix diet.  We are going to run into situations where we need to made a decision in a pinch, and that's okay. 

 

     What I've been reminded of in the last few days is to set myself up to have nutritious options at home.  Additionally, I was able to make the healthiest decision possible when the options at home had run out.  Life is full of curveballs, and it's about what you do with them.  As they say in my DDP Yoga DVD series, "only you control the way you react, how you adapt, how you breathe, and how you take action."

All the best,
OkieGal 

A Revelation About Stress

     What a day!  I was just not feeling it at all today.  Chickpea woke up several times last night, which is not normal for him.  I think he's having a growth spurt or something because he also wanted to eat a lot today.  He was tired, I was tired, and it was just a more challenging day than normal.  I woke up with a headache, but it seemed to subside after I got breakfast.  We went to church, and after we got home it was just one mess after another.  I will spare any details and just say that we ended up with impromptu bath time this afternoon and a load of laundry to be done. 
     Overall I was feeling a bit grumpy and tired.  Just felt stressed.  In the midst of all this I did become aware of several things about myself.  First of all, I am proud to say that while the DDP Yoga schedule allowed for an optional rest day, I opted to do a workout.  I knew I'd feel better after doing it.  I just finished, and can say that I'm glad I did it!  I feel more relaxed and will have a much easier time getting to sleep, assuming Chickpea lets me stay that way! 
     The other thing I learned is that when I get stressed, I start thinking about all those comfort foods that tempt me.  This gets even worse when I am feeling very hungry.  It starts a spiral to where it impacts my decision making, state of mind, etc.  I have a tendency to be hypoglycemic, meaning that when they made the candy bar commercials about "you're not yourself when you're hungry," they were describing me!  Add these symptoms to stress, and you have a perfect storm leading me to less than optimal food choices.  Luckily by this point hubby had come home from work, and was able to make me a quick protein shake to help get me out of the "hangry" situation. 

 

     The revelation about how stress impacts my food choices is a great one.  Now that I'm aware of it, I can give myself healthy alternatives to those comfort foods.  For example, I usually find some sort of potato sounds awesome when I'm in this state of mind.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  I love sweet potatoes too, and that could be a great alternative.  It would give the comfort food vibe, without killing my nutrition goals.  Another option is to choose to allow myself a treat.  In today's situation, I didn't want to burn my treat for the week on the first day.  That's the beauty of it, I gain so much by becoming aware of my thought processes.  I can begin to think through what is really going on, recognize it for what it is, and then make a choice based on what I know my goals are and the information in front of me. 
     In the past, I would have more easily said "screw it," and ended up diverting off my path.  Then that diversion would give way to more, and then I'm nowhere near the path I really want to be on.  Now I see the situation for what it is, own that situation, and then make a decision.  Today I chose to stay on the path.  That's a huge win for me!

All the best,
OkieGal

Wrapping Up Week 1

     We are at the end of the first week of the 12-week transformation challenge. I want to take a few moments to reflect on what is going well and where I can improve as it goes into week 2.

     Having the fitness calendar in my dining room has been very helpful.  I can see all my fitspiration images and remind myself of my goals.  I also like only writing things down when I actually do them.  It may be very childlike of me, but I enjoy it like a sticker chart.  lol!  Finally, it is right there for my hubby to see too.  That keeps me accountable as well. 
     I have found myself continually improving when it comes to nutrition. Not only am I closer to my calorie goal at the end of the day, I also am seeing improvement in the balance of carbs, protein, and healthy fats. Even more exciting for me was the fact that I allowed myself a treat yesterday, and found it difficult to think of something I wanted. Things that in the past would have been  a temptation, weren't as appealing as they used to be. I did have a serving of dark chocolate sea salt caramel, and enjoyed it.  No guilt.  It was an intentional decision, and part of my plan. 

     An area that I am going to focus more on this week is my water intake. Some days were better than others, just not quite where I want it to be. To help with this, I ordered a water infusion pitcher from Amazon. It holds 93 oz, so if I aim to get through the pitcher over the course of my whole day, I will be closer to my goal. Plus it will be fun to have different flavors of water to make it more interesting.  I found a website that has flavor ideas, and I look forward to trying some different combos! 

     Another area that I will need to give more attention to is getting to bed at a reasonable hour.  That can be easier said than done with an almost 7 month old, and a hubby that usually gets home after 9pm.  I usually am doing my workouts when Chickpea goes to bed for the evening, and then I want to stay up to spend time with my husband when he gets home.  There is still room for improvement here, and I will be working on it.

     When it came to my workouts, I did have to battle in my mind over doing them a day or two this week. The great news is that I did them!  You can read more about this topic in my post called Bumps in the Road.    

     With each area I know there is much more to be done. The important thing is that I continue to take one step at a time. This is just the beginning, and there is still the excitement and enthusiasm of starting the challenge. To help continued progress, I will need to find ways to tap back into that excitement when more difficult days pop up. 

     I will continue to benefit from the accountability that is obtained from writing here. I will begin adding things that motivate me to the mix so that I can read through them when I need a boost. 

     Week 2 awaits!

All the best,

OkieGal

      

     

Bumps in the Road

     So far the first week of the challenge has been going pretty well. With each day, I am more consistent about making my calorie goals. I have also found healthy ways to satiate my sweet tooth. I did find that after having a rest day from my workouts yesterday, my mind wanted to skip today. It's something I've had a challenge with before, and will continue to work through it.

     It's amazing how much being aware of my mental state helps me. If I recognize when my brain is throwing out excuses, I can shut them down. For instance, I sat and thought "well the baby did get up twice last night, so if I just take today off too..."  However, I know that I feel so much better at the end of the day when I get the workout in. I sleep better, I stretch out my body after working a desk job all day, and I'll take another step forward being consistent (which will build confidence). Instead of listing excuses for not doing it, I focus in on reasons why I should do it, and think about those.

     Are there days that I do skip?  Of course.  My goal with those days is to make a conscious decision about it.  Instead of idly letting the day go by without doing the workout, I acknowledge the decision not to do it.  I may say, "I choose not to do my workout today, and I will instead make it up on what was my next planned rest day."  This approach causes me to think it through, be aware of my decision, and own it.  I also free myself from guilt.  I chose to do it, and have a plan for making it up. 
     So what if I do idly skip the workout?  I am working to not beat myself up over those times.  I'm human, it happens.  My goal in that situation is to get back in my routine faster than I did the time previously.  In the grand scheme of things, I'm working to stay on track more often than not.
     Up until the moment I started the DDP Yoga DVD this evening, I found my body and mind still fighting it.  I knew I should and I was going to, yet my mind was trying to betray me.  The important point is that I did it.  I pushed play, and I did the workout.  Today I overcame the thoughts that were trying to hold me back.  And guess what, I feel better after the workout!  Here's to small victories!

All the best,
OkieGal

     

Where I've Been & Where I'm Going

     Today didn't start out quite as planned, so I am posting this evening instead of in the morning.  We had major thunderstorms, which proceeded to wake my Chickpea up earlier than normal!  Oh well, we have made it through another day, and I'm ready to share today's topic!
     As promised, I'm sharing my goals for the 12-week transformation contest!  Before talking about where I'm going, I wanted to share where I've been.  I will say before I start, that this is just my history.  It's not right or wrong, it just is.  I have never really cared about the scale, and tend to go off of how my clothes fit to determine where I'm at physically.  The main reason I knew my weight through the years was either because of doctor's appointments or because I was tracking a starting point before a fitness routine. 
     About 2008 is where I can really remember the rollercoaster of weight loss and gain beginning for me.  I would be doing well for awhile, and then get discouraged and say "forget it" in my mind.  In December of 2010, I was preparing to do P90X with my husband.  We took before pictures and did measurements, and I weighed in at 130 lbs.  I did see some results, and then I injured my knee before I could complete the whole program. 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

       Fast forward a bit and I reached my heaviest of 138 lbs.  In early 2013 I got active again with more consistency.  I joined karate, and was training for the Warrior Dash 5K.  I lost weight and got down to 125 lbs.  I then learned I was pregnant in late June of 2013.  I was determined to stay fit and active during the pregnancy.  My main goal was healthy me and healthy baby, and I also wanted to do a natural, pain med free childbirth.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     After 2 failed glucose tests, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put on a strict diet.  My midwife said I didn't just fail the test, my numbers were the worst she'd seen in a long time!  She was willing to let me try to control blood sugar with diet, but if I couldn't I would be on medication or need insulin injections.  Long story short, I was able to control blood sugar levels with diet alone, and maintained an active lifestyle.  I was not worried about weight while pregnant, because that's part of the deal.  They were keeping track though, so I know my max weight during pregnancy was 140lbs.  I had to be induced using a low dose of Pitocin due to low fluid levels, but was still able to labor and deliver pain med free! 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     The nutrition I needed to maintain through the pregnancy is part of what I believe helped in my quick recovery.  While I wasn't focused on losing weight at all, I found myself back to pre-pregnancy weight 2 weeks post partum.  This, I believe, is due in part to how my body reacted to breastfeeding.  I took before photos again at 7 weeks post partum to get ready to work out again, this time using DDP Yoga (since it is low impact).  I ran the 2014 Warrior Dash 5K at 10 weeks post partum.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     I then decided to focus in on my transition from being a new Mom to being a working new Mom, so paused my workouts.  About a month ago I started up the workouts again and really began to think about what I wanted.  After all these years, I had gotten the weight off.  Now what do I really want?  As mentioned in previous posts, I want a healthy, strong, and fit physique.  I want to build muscle and have definition where I can see the results of my hard work.
     This brings me to why I joined the transformation challenge.  Transformation is not just about weight loss.  For some it is, and that's an awesome reason to begin the challenge.  For me, it is about transforming into the athletic build that deep down I've always wanted.  So my goals are not centered around weight loss, they are around building muscle.

Here are the 6 focuses I have set for the next 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     When the 12 week challenge is complete, I will then reassess where I am.  What is working?  What can be improved?  What more do I need to learn to help me get what I want?  Then I will start the process over again.  In short, continuous improvement.
     At the end of the day, it is about me becoming an even better version of myself.  I am proud of who I am, where I've come from, and what I've learned about myself along the way.  It takes dedication and consistency to make this lifestyle a part of who I am.  I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes.  I want to prove to myself that I am the person that can follow through and reach for what it is that I want.  It is something that I am applying specifically to fitness in this case, and the concepts will transfer to other parts of my life as well.   

All the best,
OkieGal