Challenge Results and Overall Progress

     November 24th, 2014 marked the end of the 12-week transformation challenge that I was a part of with No Excuse Moms.  It was an interesting experience overall, and I am so glad that I participated!  The challenge was a contest, and had many amazing women that were awarded cash prizes.  You can take a look and find inspiration in each of their transformation stories if you visit the No Excuse Mom webpage.
     While I didn't win a cash prize or anything like that, I did gain so much from taking on the challenge.  I am sharing my transformation story here, along with pictures showing progress.  I took a moment to put me at one of my heavier weights from Dec 2010 next to my before (Aug 2014) and after (Nov 2014) pictures from the transformation challenge.  You will see quite a change!  I am excited for how far I have come!

     Here is my transformation story as submitted to judges for the challenge:

     For many years I’ve fought a war with health and fitness.  While I never had extreme weight gain, I wasn’t happy with the reflection in the mirror.  I fought a yo-yoing battle of gaining and losing weight, starting and stopping exercise plans, and going between feeling confident and feeling down.  My heaviest, non-pregnancy, weight was 138lbs on my 5’1” frame.  I knew I needed to be healthy and fit, but it wasn’t sticking.  Typically I started with excitement, stuck with it temporarily, and then something knocked me astray.  Instead of bouncing back, I said “screw it,” and found myself months down the road, spiraling back into bad feelings. 

     On top of my internal battle, people looked at me and asked why I was concerned with weight.  I thought that maybe they were right; maybe I wasn't being grateful for what I had.  However, I was the one seeing what they couldn't see beneath my clothes.  I felt guilty for wanting to improve, yet deep down I wanted change.  I began to lose weight and had gotten down to 125lbs when I found out I was pregnant in June 2013.  I was determined to have a healthy, active pregnancy.  I did well, and within 2 weeks postpartum I was back to pre-pregnancy weight.  With activity, healthy nutrition, and help from breastfeeding, I got to 110lbs. 

     Enter the 12-week challenge.  After finally tackling the weight, I knew I had the opportunity for more.  I could focus on consistency with the healthy lifestyle, and reach for goals hidden deep inside.  The night I decided to do the challenge I sat crying as I talked to my husband.  I didn’t want to admit that my goal was to have a defined, fit, and strong body.  Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve it, and feelings of being ungrateful crept back.  With his support I decided the challenge was what I desperately needed.  My goals were to create a consistent, healthy lifestyle so afterward I could focus on building and defining muscle.  I knew that I would struggle if I didn’t get my attitude and mind in the right place. 

 

     What an amazing ride!  I started out strong and excited, had bumps in the road that tried to derail me, and through it all I did better than expected!  I exercise more often than before, and my nutrition has improved by planning my treats.  The biggest battle was not physical, but mental.  I fought through excuses, and wanting to quit.  Sometimes I skipped a workout, but I bounced back quicker than before.  The biggest breakthrough was in week 11.  I realized treats that were no big deal before made me sick, so sick that I skipped my workout.  Not only does my body prefer healthy foods, for the first time in my life I was sad to miss a workout.  At 9 months postpartum, primarily I’ve gained confidence.  I made great progress and look forward to reaching my next goal!

 

     It was great to write out my progress, because it helped me to acknowledge how far I have come.  Truly the biggest battle I have fought was within.  Doing this has proven that I can follow through on what I set my mind to.  That gives me even more confidence, which propels me on to the next challenge.  I am currently trying a new program by adding resistance bands and allowing that to help take me to the next level.  My Nov 2014 pictures are my new before pics!  We have been told that in January they will be starting another 12-week challenge.  I will be joining again to help keep my momentum going.  I'll post when it starts up, and hope there are others that want to join in too!

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

Winds of Change

     Today I have felt a change, a true change.  It's not the physical challenge that has been the most difficult, it has been a mental battle for me to take on this 12-week transformation challenge.  Today I have finally truly felt something that my husband has said he has for a long time.  I'll explain.
     It was my planned treat meal today.  My husband, Chickpea, and I had gone to the store, and then went to go grab something to eat.  The choice of meal and dessert that I made were both things that I have had before.  In fact, they were both places I had eaten as treats in the early weeks of this challenge.
     The first major difference I found, my body did not react well to the food this time.  Without going into too much detail, I had to leave Chickpea in a safe place on two different occasions this evening as once I threw up and the other time was other bathroom issues.  Not fun at all.  What it made me realize though is that I have made progress with my nutrition.  My body no longer handles well what used to be no problem.  Too much grease, and too much sweet is just more than it can take.  That is a good thing!  I am training my body to eat even better, which will help me to reach my goals even more!
     The second difference is quite a change for me.  I am actually bummed that my stomach is still so out of sorts that I can't do my planned workout this evening.  Let me say that again, I actually for the first time EVER am sad that I can't complete my workout!  That, my friends, is huge for me!  Hubby would tell me that he hates to miss his workout, and I just never understood.  Here I am with a bright, shining light bulb above my head because I finally get it.  If nothing else is, that is a sign of progress.

     Does this mean I'll never struggle with wanting to do a workout again?  No.  There will always be days that I am challenged.  Rising above that challenge more often than not is what will give me progress.  I leave you with a song that inspires me in many aspects of my life.  Take a listen and read the lyrics below.

All the best,
OkieGal

Alter Bridge "Before Tomorrow Comes" Lyrics:

I couldn't sleep I had to listen
To a conscience knowing so well
That nothing comes from indifference
I look inside of myself

Will I find some kind of conviction?
Will I bid the hero farewell?
Will I be defined by things that could have been?
I guess time will only tell
I guess time will only tell

[Chorus:]
So don't let it be
Before tomorrow comes
Before you turn away
Take the hand in need
Before tomorrow comes
You could change everything

I curse my worth and every comfort
That blinded me for way too long
Damn it all I'll make a difference from now on
Cause I'm wide awake to it all
Cause I'm wide awake to it all

[Chorus]

Does anyone care it ain't right what we're doing?
Does anyone care it ain't right where we're going?
Does anyone dare justify how we're living?
Does anyone here care at all?

[Chorus]

We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
We could be so much more than we are
Oh this much I know

I Don't Wear Pink

     It's not that I have anything against the color pink, it just has never been my color.  I own a few outfits that have pink in them, and even have a pink dress.  Today I wear pink.  I dug and found the one shirt I have, and I wore it and a smile for someone very dear to me.

     I can't say that I know where this post will go.  I know that I need to write something, and I will do my best for it all to make sense in the end.  Thanks in advance for hanging with me on this one.
     Several years ago, I joined a website called Policewives.org.  At the time my husband had been in law enforcement for over a year.  I was feeling in need of somewhere to go to talk to others that understood what it meant to be the wife to someone in law enforcement.  Through that site I was put in contact with many wonderful women.  Women that came together because of a mutual understanding of the LEO life, and then became bonded together, forever sisters. 
     Over the years I have had the opportunity to meet several of these women in person.  It's one of these women that I'd like to write about now.  Her name is Jessie.  We mostly interacted through the PW website and on Facebook, writing posts here and there. 
     In the last several years, fortunately for me, travel for work began taking me repeatedly out to California.  In May of 2011, I was out there for a conference, and got the idea to see if Jessie wanted to meet.  She was so excited!  Jessie and her husband picked me up from the airport and took me to my hotel where we sat in the lobby and talked like we'd known each other all our lives.  I don't remember how long we sat there, the time flew by.  We laughed a lot, and had a wonderful time chatting.
     Fall 2011 was the next time I went to California, and I was a short flight away from them.  I asked Jessie if it would be okay for me to visit them for a few days after my conference.  She was more than happy to have me.  We planned to go to Reno for a trip to the air races with her brother and husband along too.  She took me to her favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch and we talked.  We laughed and had a wonderful time.  I got to meet her mother, and enjoyed the time the three of us chatted.  That evening, before it was time to drive to Reno, we learned that a horrible crash had occurred at the air race that day.  They cancelled the races for the day we were supposed to attend.  Not letting that get us down, we all packed up for Reno anyway.  We had a great time talking, going to the auto museum, visiting the planetarium, and going out to dinner.
     The third time I got to see Jessie, it was because of a conference in the fall of 2013.  It was to be one of my last trips since I was pregnant with Chickpea at the time.  I let her know I was headed her way again, and she was ready to welcome me with open arms.  Jessie, her husband, brother, and dad all came and picked me up at the hotel.  The first thing she asked to do was rub my belly to meet Chickpea.  She was so happy for us!  They took me to Off the Grid, which is where a bunch of food trucks gather in one location.  We had a blast going to different trucks and trying food.  One of the funniest moments was when we went to the bacon truck to get a piece of chocolate covered bacon for me to take home to my hubby.  Jessie wanted so badly for him to have it that she begged the truck workers to see if they had any left.  Sure enough they had one piece.  The funny part came when later she hugged one of the truck owners and thanked him for finding us the piece of bacon for her friend that was visiting all the way from Kansas.  Turns out it was the truck owner for a different truck!  It was so cute.  We laughed a lot and Jessie took it in stride.  You never know, maybe he needed a hug!  We got a picture in front of that bacon truck, and for the life of me I cannot find it.  It was also on this trip that she gave me this pin.

     I am just returning from the fourth visit I have made to see Jessie.  This trip was by far the hardest.  My friend spent 3.5 years fighting the wretched disease known as breast cancer.  Every visit that I took out there she was battling this disease, and every time I saw her she was smiling and doing everything she could to make my visit enjoyable.  She took the diagnosis as a reason to live every moment to its fullest.  She got her diving certification while on chemo treatments, and took a special trip to dive in the beautiful, warm waters.  She had a special road trip that involved meeting as many of her PW sisters as possible.
     It is so hard to realize that my fourth trip to see her was the last time I would get to see her.  She had been released from the hospital to hospice care.  She was going home to fight for as long as she could being comfortable, instead of having to deal with the horrible side effects of chemo treatments.  When I learned of this last week, I felt compelled to see her.  I booked my flights and hotel quickly.  It wasn't because I thought she was going quickly, but because I knew she needed love and support after having just lost her dad less than a week before getting the difficult news about her own health. 
     My travel out there was crazy to say the least.  I got diverted to Albuquerque, NM while trying to get to Phoenix because of the huge storms.  A night in NM, and I was travelling again Sunday morning to try to get to see her.  All this with Chickpea in tow!
     I got there with the help of her husband coming to get me from the closest place I could fly into, which was 70 miles away.  I spent Sunday afternoon and evening, as well as all day Monday with her and her family.  I could tell that she was fighting hard when I got there Sunday, yet she was still smiling and so glad to see us.  She got to hold Chickpea, which I am so glad for.  She was even apologizing to me for "being a mess."         
    

 

     Sunday she was not as alert, a lot of this had to do with the side effects of medications she was on to keep her comfortable.  At the end of the day I was getting ready to go back to the hotel for the evening.  I would be flying out the next day to come home.  I sat to tell her I was leaving and she said "oh honey," and again tried to apologize for being a mess.  I told her she was an inspiration to so many and that she is so strong.  She smiled.  I let her know that any time I don't think I have the strength to do something, I think of her.  I gave her hugs and kissed her forehead and told her to keep fighting.  I also let her know I'd be in touch. 

     I am so glad that I made it out to see her.  I never would have thought that the next morning when I was headed to the airport that I would be learning of her passing.  She always said that cancer would not beat her.  She was right, it didn't.  She fought to the last breath.  It may have taken her physically from us, but it never will beat her spirit and the impact that she has had on those around her.

     Because of her, I have been connected with her wonderful family and been able to meet several of the other police wives.

     I wear pink for her.  I wear the pin she gave me.  I also wear a smile for her.  Knowing that is what she always brought to me and so many others.  I won't let cancer take that either. 

     I love you Jessie, and you will always be in my heart.  I thank you for showing me what strength is and what living life to its fullest with no excuses is all about.  You are beautiful through and through.  You inspire me to continue to go after my dreams, and live my life to the fullest.  Once a sister, always a sister.

 

All the best,

OkieGal