A Little Introspection

     I have a few things I'm trying to work through currently.  I know I have come so much further than I was before.  I am still having a challenge with certain aspects of healthy living.  At the foundation of my health/fitness journey, I feel like I am struggling with my "why." Meaning why it is important to me, and why I keep going. I am not yet at a point where I just love working out. It still hasn't clicked for me on a consistent basis.
     I completed the 12 week transformation challenge and did well, and feel like there are some great habits that I'm continuing to build on. I enjoy the DDP Yoga DVDs that I'm doing, yet in order to get further results I feel I will need to do more. Where I struggle is that it seems the fit body & healthy me hasn't been enough to motivate and excite me to do what I need to do each day.
     My husband and I were talking about it at length today, and I realized that one of the few time periods in my life that I didn't feel out of place in the gym was when I was doing karate. I was motivated at the gym because anything I was doing was helping to strengthen me for my karate classes. Our tight budget, which hopefully will ease up soon, was the main reason for dropping karate (I also paused when I had Chickpea, who is 11 months now). 

 
      Another piece of the puzzle is that in general I feel like the active, fit person who loves to workout is still aspirational for me currently. In a way, anytime I go to the gym, I feel out of place. It's almost like I feel as though I'm pretending. I can have a workout plan and everything written down to follow, and while doing it at the gym I feel awkward. I have only been working out from home since Chickpea was born, and I know that if I got someone to watch him so that I could go to the gym I would have to face that awkwardness.
     All these thoughts have me asking questions of others that are also working on their fitness journey.  The questions I asked them are:  Is it possible that the love of working out will never click, and it is something that I will always be forcing myself to do? When did it click for you? Did you have to find a passion?
      At the end of it all, I really do want to find a way to just enjoy working out. I want it to be a part of who I am. I currently feel like I'm a little kid playing dress up. It's something I'm playing at, but in reality it is not me. I want to be consistent, because I know that when I have fallen off course it really dings my self-confidence.
     I will continue to explore this, and plan to write more about it after getting feedback from others on it.  If you have feedback or thoughts you'd like to share on this topic, I'd love to hear it!

All the best,
OkieGal

The Year of Following Through

     So I've been out of my normal routine.  A week before Christmas, Chickpea, my hubby, and I all got sick.  Then you put the holidays on top of that, and you have a recipe for some temptation and falling behind.  Well, here I am, owning it and getting back in the groove.  The last few days I have completed my workouts, and after hubby gets back from the grocery store this evening we will have better food choices (aside from the pizza I ordered).
     As I've been thinking about what I want to focus on for 2015, I've settled on following through.  This is not just for my health, it is also in other areas of my life.  Health and fitness is a great example though.  I often get excited and it is not uncommon for me to make it 3-6 months doing well.  Then something will throw me off.  In the past I have lost focus and left the path that I originally set out to follow.  If I didn't see the results I wanted right away, I would get discouraged.
     Another aspect of my life that I will follow through on is cleaning and organizing my home.  I ran across a plan for decluttering and organizing the home in 52 weeks.  Each week has a different area to focus on, and there are 15 minute missions to accomplish each day to help you reach that week's goal.  The Facebook group is called Declutter 365, and the full details about the program can be found at Home-Storage-Solutions-101.com.  It's amazing how just taking little actions toward the goal can help give more motivation.  Today I went through my 2 drawers of kitchen utensils.  I tossed those that were damaged, put duplicates in the donation bin, and organized what we are keeping.  It looks so much better!  The goal is to follow through during the year.  It's easy to be excited now.  The true test will be how I follow through as the year progresses. 

     My 2015 is about following through, and understanding that it is not about an end goal.  Instead, it is about the process of continually moving forward towards the outcomes and milestones I desire.  I will continue to update on health/fitness related progress.  I also will be incorporating posts about other projects that I am focusing on as well. 
     I'd love to hear about your focus for the year! 

All the best,
OkieGal

Challenge Results and Overall Progress

     November 24th, 2014 marked the end of the 12-week transformation challenge that I was a part of with No Excuse Moms.  It was an interesting experience overall, and I am so glad that I participated!  The challenge was a contest, and had many amazing women that were awarded cash prizes.  You can take a look and find inspiration in each of their transformation stories if you visit the No Excuse Mom webpage.
     While I didn't win a cash prize or anything like that, I did gain so much from taking on the challenge.  I am sharing my transformation story here, along with pictures showing progress.  I took a moment to put me at one of my heavier weights from Dec 2010 next to my before (Aug 2014) and after (Nov 2014) pictures from the transformation challenge.  You will see quite a change!  I am excited for how far I have come!

     Here is my transformation story as submitted to judges for the challenge:

     For many years I’ve fought a war with health and fitness.  While I never had extreme weight gain, I wasn’t happy with the reflection in the mirror.  I fought a yo-yoing battle of gaining and losing weight, starting and stopping exercise plans, and going between feeling confident and feeling down.  My heaviest, non-pregnancy, weight was 138lbs on my 5’1” frame.  I knew I needed to be healthy and fit, but it wasn’t sticking.  Typically I started with excitement, stuck with it temporarily, and then something knocked me astray.  Instead of bouncing back, I said “screw it,” and found myself months down the road, spiraling back into bad feelings. 

     On top of my internal battle, people looked at me and asked why I was concerned with weight.  I thought that maybe they were right; maybe I wasn't being grateful for what I had.  However, I was the one seeing what they couldn't see beneath my clothes.  I felt guilty for wanting to improve, yet deep down I wanted change.  I began to lose weight and had gotten down to 125lbs when I found out I was pregnant in June 2013.  I was determined to have a healthy, active pregnancy.  I did well, and within 2 weeks postpartum I was back to pre-pregnancy weight.  With activity, healthy nutrition, and help from breastfeeding, I got to 110lbs. 

     Enter the 12-week challenge.  After finally tackling the weight, I knew I had the opportunity for more.  I could focus on consistency with the healthy lifestyle, and reach for goals hidden deep inside.  The night I decided to do the challenge I sat crying as I talked to my husband.  I didn’t want to admit that my goal was to have a defined, fit, and strong body.  Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve it, and feelings of being ungrateful crept back.  With his support I decided the challenge was what I desperately needed.  My goals were to create a consistent, healthy lifestyle so afterward I could focus on building and defining muscle.  I knew that I would struggle if I didn’t get my attitude and mind in the right place. 

 

     What an amazing ride!  I started out strong and excited, had bumps in the road that tried to derail me, and through it all I did better than expected!  I exercise more often than before, and my nutrition has improved by planning my treats.  The biggest battle was not physical, but mental.  I fought through excuses, and wanting to quit.  Sometimes I skipped a workout, but I bounced back quicker than before.  The biggest breakthrough was in week 11.  I realized treats that were no big deal before made me sick, so sick that I skipped my workout.  Not only does my body prefer healthy foods, for the first time in my life I was sad to miss a workout.  At 9 months postpartum, primarily I’ve gained confidence.  I made great progress and look forward to reaching my next goal!

 

     It was great to write out my progress, because it helped me to acknowledge how far I have come.  Truly the biggest battle I have fought was within.  Doing this has proven that I can follow through on what I set my mind to.  That gives me even more confidence, which propels me on to the next challenge.  I am currently trying a new program by adding resistance bands and allowing that to help take me to the next level.  My Nov 2014 pictures are my new before pics!  We have been told that in January they will be starting another 12-week challenge.  I will be joining again to help keep my momentum going.  I'll post when it starts up, and hope there are others that want to join in too!

 

All the best,

OkieGal

 

Overthinking and Me

     Confession time, I can be quite the over thinker.  In the last week I was over-analyzing things so badly that I actually began to analyze my over-analysis!  That's quite impressive if I do say so myself.  The challenge with this is that it brought on my anxiety about the end of the 12-week transformation challenge. 
     I was spinning, as my husband affectionately calls it.  I was thinking and talking on and on about what I would do next after the challenge to keep the momentum going.  I was over-analyzing it to the point that I was getting nowhere fast. 
     What's funny is that when I stopped and decided to take action instead of just thinking about it, I finally got past it.  I first asked myself, would I be able to go to the gym or would I be working out at home?  The answer for me at this time is still at home.  So then I thought, what do I have here at home that I could use?  Resistance bands!  We have a whole set from when we did P90X.  Then I did a quick Google search for resistance band workout plans, and found a couple of options.  Within 5 minutes I chose one I will be trying.  If you want to take a look, it is here on Bodybuilding.com.  I printed it out, and by doing so I was no longer anxious about the next round.  Combining this new workout program with my DDP Yoga DVDs, I believe I will progress even more.

     I will write more about the end of this 12-week challenge tomorrow.  I spent some time today writing my transformation story, which I'll share here.  I also have to take my final pictures and measurements.  I've enjoyed this despite the ups and downs.  I've learned a lot and now that I have a plan for my next stage, I feel so much better.  I believe that my brain was throwing up excuses and fears to put another bump in my path.  The key is to recognize those things for what they are, and get out of the overthinking by making a decision and taking action.
     I look forward to tomorrow.  It is not only the close of this stage, it is the beginning of my next stage to reaching my ultimate targets!

All the best,
OkieGal

Anxious For Days Ahead

     I've been feeling a bit anxious about the end of the challenge coming so soon.  Not so much concerned with how I did, it is more about what happens after the challenge.  I feel like having the 12-week transformation challenge in front of me has pushed me to continue on the journey.  It would be very easy to fall back in the trap of my old habits just because the challenge ended.  The important thing for me to do in this transition between the end of the challenge and the beginning of the next phase of my journey is to take another look at my goals, and begin to adjust them for my next target.

     In the last week I started doing a couple of the Extreme DDP Yoga workouts to start kicking it to the next level.  There is a lot I can work on in those DVDs.  I did get the closest I have ever gotten to doing the splits though, so that's even better than I thought I could do!  We have resistance bands from when we got the P90X system, and I will be working to get at home workouts together that incorporate them. 
     I will also be working to get even more protein into my diet.  Currently, I need to do an even better job of making sure my carb, protein, and healthy fat ratios are balanced.  I know that I'm on the right track, this area is about making small adjustments.
     The piece that I have had more trouble with than I expected is getting enough sleep.  Last night I got to sleep at 2am, and had to get up for work as usual this morning.  If I want to give my body the best chance to recover and be healthy, I will need to take this aspect more seriously.  Things happen, but more often than not it is just me dilly-dallying around!
     I'm looking forward to the next phase, and I know I will be able to do it.  I just need to keep the momentum from the challenge going to propel me forward.

All the best,
OkieGal 

Turning a Corner

     Week 10 is coming to an end, and I'm finding that while they are small, little shifts are occurring in my life as it relates to health and fitness.  We have had guests over the last few days, and so I haven't been as diligent with my workouts as I usually am.  If I'm honest, that's just fancy talk for using it as an excuse. 
     Today I woke up early feeling sore and my joints/muscles felt tight, and I couldn't get back to sleep.  In the past this would have made me think that I needed a break from my workouts.  Surely it is the activity that is causing me pain.  This morning I decided to go downstairs and put in one of my DVD workouts to see if the movement would help relieve the pain in my back.  I am so glad I did!  Instead of being sore because of my workouts, I was actually sore from not having done one in a few days. 
     That is a great realization to have, and will only help me to continue to stay on track.  When I recognize that the healthier lifestyle is improving my quality of life, I will have a more positive outlook on continuing to be healthy.  The more positive view I have, the more I will make it a priority. 
     I know that the mental game is the most challenging part.  If I only see the negative or focus on it, that is what will continue to show up in life.  I will see the downward spiral instead of appreciating and enjoying the positive.  There is so much to be thankful for, and so much positive to find even in the most difficult situations.  This is true of life in general.
     I have turned a corner by having this realization.  Knowing the fact that a lifestyle will help me to feel better is only part of it.  I still will have to make choices to support that lifestyle.  I still will have to battle the thoughts in my head that tell me to just take today off, or have another treat here or there.  The great thing is, the more I remember feeling better after working out, the more I will want to work out.  It will begin to lay a foundation that makes it easier and easier to fight those battles.
     A small shift, yet it is an important one that I will continue to make and continue to capitalize on.

All the best,
OkieGal        

Is It Really Week 6?

     The last week has been an absolute rollercoaster.  My trip to California was bittersweet, and I made it back to Kansas just in time to turn around and begin a drive to Oklahoma.  This is when life happened and in the past it would be knocking me off track.

 

     I'll be completely honest, for the last week as I said goodbye to my dear friend Jessie, and then went to Oklahoma to speak at a ladies' Bible study, I didn't really think much about the transformation challenge.  When I left for the airport that Saturday, I had a feeling it would be difficult to stay on track.  I was talking to my husband about it yesterday, and determined that it would do me no good to retroactively track my nutrition for that week.  There's nothing that could be done about it at this point, and it would just leave me feeling bad.
     Instead, I have decided to focus on moving forward.  This week is about rebuilding a sense of normal for me.  On one hand, I feel guilty doing that.  On the other, I know that it's something I need to do.  The only way I can truly honor Jessie is through striving for my dreams and loving the life I've been given.

 

     I have learned that in very stressful situations, my eating is non-existent.  I did a mental check of what I ate while on my trip to California, and it wasn't much.  Sometimes it was because of circumstances like trying to make a connecting flight, and other times it was just the fact that I didn't even think about it.  In contrast, my Oklahoma trip was less stressful, and I was wanting to eat more comfort foods.  I feel like the two trips balanced each other out in that regard.
     I did do my progress photos, and will post them here.  I am not seeing huge differences yet, I do feel a difference though.  The trips reminded me of that.  When I am eating well and staying active, I feel so much better.  Just doing a short workout last night helped me stretch out.  I will persevere. 
     While I don't feel like I failed, the quote above is still a good kick in the pants.  Keep going.  That's what I have to keep telling myself.  It's about getting back into it more quickly than I did the last time.  Instead of letting myself be thrown off and wake up 3 months later wondering why I couldn't keep it up, I am back after a week.  That's progress, and that's what this is all about. 

All the best,
OkieGal

 

 

The Voices Return

     It is so odd.  With my workouts I have been rolling along fine, and then today it was just tough.  I was 10 minutes in, and all I wanted to do was stop.  It was a mental battle the whole time.  I had to keep telling myself to make it a few more minutes, a constant personal pep talk for the entirety of the workout.  The important point is that I finished it.
     I am to the point in my workout program that it is getting more challenging.  This is the last week that has more than one rest day allotted.  So we're really ramping up.  I believe subconsciously that my fears are creeping in, and so my brain is saying, "abort, abort!"  I'm getting to the difficult part, and it's getting real.  The goals that I have set are before me, and the fear is coming strong.  That little voice that thinks I can't really accomplish it, and thinks that I'm going fail is trying to make itself heard. 
    

    
     Times like this, I remind myself that I am capable of this goal.  It is about releasing the potential within.  I have the strength within me, it is about putting the work in to let it shine.  It will not be easy.  That is what will make the accomplishment so much more exciting to obtain.  By working hard and pushing through these challenges, I will appreciate the progress all the more. 
     It was a tough workout from a mental perspective.  I finished it, and I'm better for it.

All the best,
OkieGal

Wrapping Up Week 3

     Three weeks of the 12-week transformation challenge done!  Even with some rough points in the week, I finished strong!  It has been interesting to find out which of my focus areas are coming along and which are still a work in progress.  I am really impressed with how well the infused water pitcher is helping me keep up my water intake.  I have had above 70oz for nearly two weeks now, and most days are closer to 100oz!  That is a huge improvement from my past bests of around 40oz in a day!  I will say that the weekends are more of a struggle for me when it comes to this focus, and so I will be more intentional about it on the weekends moving forward.

 

 

     From a mental perspective, the fight over doing my workouts is diminishing.  I had no trouble jumping right back into it today after my rest day.  I still need to work through the physical aspects.  My body is still working through the transition from not working out to having a consistent workout regime.  Just keep going, and I know it'll continue to get better.

     One of my focuses is to be more thoughtful about my treats and to choose healthy food options.  I have found that by planning my treat meal in advance, I am less tempted to have treats the rest of the week.  I had set in my mind that it would be Saturday, and so we went out and had a great time.  It was part of the plan, so I didn't feel guilty.  This week we had Mi Ranchito, which is one of the Mexican restaurants in the area.  Had chips & salsa, cheese dip, and a great dinner.  We then went for dessert to a new place that opened up, Smallcakes Creamery.  Smallcakes is a cupcake shop and the creamery is a new concept store for them.  They basically take their cupcake flavors and put them into the form of ice cream.  I took a picture to prove I did indeed have a treat!  Two of my favorite flavors of their cupcakes are the Caramel Crunch and the Red Velvet.  Naturally, I got them both in a waffle bowl.  It was awesome!  When you plan your treat, consider them!  :)

 

 

     The other thing about the treats that is interesting, I don't want them during the week.  I had the dinner and the ice cream last night, and I was ready to eat healthy again.  I felt bloated and sluggish at the end of the night.  I don't regret my treat.  I just feel like my body is getting more and more used to the healthy options.  It actually wants them more often over the junk than it used to.  When I do have to grab a quick bite out, I'm making better choices.  That is great progress! 

     On the sleep front, this is definitely a work in progress.  I was in bed around 1 am last night.  Between the bloated feeling from the treat and the late night, my day started rough today.  As I ate well and got active I noticed I felt better.  Getting sleep is going to be important for me.  I may have to start writing it on my calendar to keep it top of mind.  That seems to be working for my workouts, treats, and water consumption. 

     I am excited and nervous for next week's measurements and progress pics.  I am feeling a difference, and it will be interesting to see if it shows when I check in! 

 

All the best,

OkieGal   



Nutrition Revelation

     This week has been an improvement when it comes to nutrition for me.  I have gotten within striking distance of my calorie goal, and am doing better on the ratios too!  I'm still feeling some aches here and there, yet have continued to stick with the workouts.  I've been modifying if needed to avoid truly injuring myself.  The infused water pitcher has been a great way for me to consistently get my ounces in.  The main area with some progress still needed is getting to bed & to sleep at a more reasonable hour.  I've improved here, just need to continue that focus.
     I mentioned before that my need to focus on overall health had, in part, to do with the fact that I have been told by the doctor several times that my cholesterol was high.  This is still the case, in addition there is another reason that nutrition has become a greater focus for me.  That reason is Chickpea.  From very early on, Chickpea was showing great interest in the activity of eating.  He enjoys watching us eat.  He thought it was funny at first, and then became more interested in what we were doing.  He wanted to try it to!

 

     This made me think about what I was modeling for him.  I knew that I wanted him to try real foods.  I had planned to make his food for several reasons.  One is that it would be easier to just make extra of foods we were already buying.  Two is that it's cheaper.  Three, I want Chickpea to get a taste of real food before anything that has been packaged or processed is introduced.  Fourth, it's easy and cheap! 
     I got myself something quick one day, and Chickpea was showing interest.  I sat there and thought, "I would love to share from my plate, but how can I do that when I'm not eating the things that he can or should eat?"  It made me think about what I was modeling and what I want him to see and do.
     Now that I'm getting my nutrition on track, I feel much better about what I'm showing him.  He will also see that it's fun to have a treat from time to time.  That's the point.  I'll be giving him an example of a balanced look at food.  He will have the opportunity to appreciate healthy foods, and also still be a kid and have a treat here and there. 
     I am learning a lot and really thinking about why I do what I do.  It became obvious now that Chickpea is here, I had to adjust what I am doing nutritionally.  Not just to make sure I am here for him for as long as possible, but also to make sure I am giving him the best example I can of a healthy, balanced life.

All the best,
OkieGal

A Case of the Mondays

     What a day!  Today was just rough.  I woke up with a headache, and I can feel the tension in the base of my head/neck has built up.  I am not a fan of this, just because I know it has lead to migraines for me in the past.  Add on top of that the fact that Chickpea was also having some fussy time today, and it just made it difficult.  I also discovered that several of the produce items that I had purchased on Saturday have mold on them, so I was none too thrilled about that.  To give a visual, late in the afternoon my husband comes home from the gym.  He walks in and Chickpea is in the play yard crying, and I'm sitting in the chair next to it eating my lunch with tears rolling too.  Honestly, I think Chickpea was sensing my tension and also he was having tummy issues.  Long story short, it was just "ugh!"
     The evening was a lot better, and I found myself looking forward to my workout.  This hasn't been the case previously.  I was looking at it as a stress relief, and a way to end the day on track.  It felt good to stretch out, and I have the good after workout high to help my headache as well.
     During the early evening, I was playing on the floor with Chickpea.  He is working on crawling right now, and I noticed he has a pattern when he's learning something new.  Long before he can physically do the action (whether it is rolling over or crawling), you can tell he wants to do it so bad.  He tries and tries and gets so frustrated that he's not doing what he knows he wants to do.  He'll get so frustrated that he will just lay on the floor, arms folded with his head down.  He may not realize it yet, but he is so close to his break through.  He soon will have the physical motions down, and be able to accomplish his goal.  Watching him do this, I know he has to feel that frustration first.  Once he hits the frustration, it will drive him to do more.  Once he gets that drive, he accomplishes the action he wants to take.  If he reacts like he did with rolling over, he will also be seen showing great joy in his success.  Then he'll be onto the next thing to learn.

     This made me think about myself.  One of my several motivations for challenging myself is to be better for Chickpea.  He watches me, and I want him to see a confident Mama that shows him balance in life.  Eating healthy, while allowing for treats.  Working hard, while celebrating my accomplishments.  Appreciating who I am, while always striving to be even better.  Helping others, while also taking care of myself.  Living a life focused on the Lord.
     I also remembered that I am learning a lot from him.  I will have frustrations in life, and I may need to cry it out.  At the end of the day though, I will pick up and try again.  I will keep going, and I will be determined to accomplish my goals.  I will also celebrate the successes I have, no matter how small.  Then choose the next action to learn more about, and do it.
     I must remember it is about progress.  While today had a rough start, it is what I did with it that mattered.  I celebrate the lesson that Chickpea taught me today, and I will celebrate with him when he accomplishes his own goal!

All the best,
OkieGal 

Wrapping Up Week 2

     Another week has come to a close for my transformation challenge, and I am happy with how it is going so far!  Currently I am enjoying watching my Sooners on TV after having my treat meal for the week.  Burger, fries, and ice cream for dessert.  It was glorious!  It's funny how after eating healthy through the week, the treat is quite a shock to the system.  I enjoy the treat, but I find myself ready to eat healthy again afterwards.  The best of both worlds!

     Overall things are going well.  My water intake is progressing.  Today I got off to a slow start.  I still will have had more water than I used to, so it's been great progress for me.  I completed all my planned workouts, and only cut one short this week.  Again, progress.  My nutrition goals suffered a little bit when we were running out of groceries late in the week.  I got a Costco membership using a Living Social deal, and replenished our supplies today.  It is a step in the right direction for setting me up for progress in this area.
     I am already starting to notice muscle building in my legs, booty, and abs.  My husband mentioned the other day that he was noticing slight definition in my pec muscles as well.  I've been doing a lot of planks and push ups! 
     For this upcoming week, I will work to continue my momentum with water consumption and workout consistency.  I want to give special attention to my nutrition to get more consistency with it.  I also will be working to get more sleep.  This is always easier said than done with a 7 month old in the house.  I feel like it will help me have more energy and get better results overall.

 

     I am thankful for all that I have in my life.  Especially those around me that have been so supportive.  It is a difficult process to look inside yourself and admit to changes that need to be made in your life.  It has been very important to have my husband, my accountability partner, the ladies of the No Excuse Moms groups, and many others that have continued to cheer me on.  This is so much more than a physical transformation for me.  It is building consistency in my life that will bring even more confidence in myself.  Thank you!

All the best,
OkieGal

 

Infusing Water For The Win

     The last couple of days have had some good progress.  The infused water pitcher I ordered arrived on Monday.  I immediately opened it up and washed it.  I added some strawberries to it, filled it with water, and let it infuse over night.  I was excited to give it a try Tuesday, and filled my water bottle from the pitcher.  I'm happy to say that it met expectations!  I enjoyed the light taste of strawberry in my water.  It was also successful from a water consumption perspective.  I didn't have to remember how many times I refilled my water bottle, I could see how much I had left by the water level in the pitcher.  I successfully got through the whole pitcher in one day!  That is 93oz! 

      That's a definite step in the right direction!  Today is the second day of using the pitcher method, and I'm happy to say that I am on my last 16oz of the pitcher!  It's been interesting to see how my body has reacted so far.  Of course there are more frequent bathroom trips, but I'm told that calms down after my body gets used to the new water intake level.  Another thing I've noticed is that the more I drink water, the more water I want.  It's like my body is saying, "hey, I like this stuff!  I want more!"  I went over my 93oz goal on Tuesday because of this fact.  The last thing I noticed as a breastfeeding mom, I was a lot fuller this morning.  I won't go further into it other than to say it was not a side effect I expected!  lol
    

 

     This is good progress for me.  My goal is to keep the momentum, and take it one day at a time.  It's overwhelming to think about drinking all this water every day from now on.  If I only think about it one day at a time, it doesn't seem like such an obstacle to overcome.  I'll be interested to see what other things I begin to notice as I continue to stay hydrated.  I'm also excited to try new flavor combinations and keep the water interesting.  We shall see!

 

All the best,

OkieGal

     

Let Your Light Shine

     When I first picked the blog back up at the beginning of the transformation challenge, I mentioned a journey that I started back in January of 2013 (you can read that post here).  I wanted to take at least another post to dive into that journey. 
     As I mentioned before, I had reached a point where I was sick and tired.  It's kind of odd to say, because it's not like I was desperately unhappy.  I'm married to my best friend, I have a nice home, live in a nice neighborhood, have a stable job, and am blessed.  While I had those things, I couldn't help but feel like there had to be more.  In reality, I knew, deep down, that I was (and still am) capable of so much more than I was giving in my life.  I believe that it is possible to be content (defined as "in a state of peaceful happiness"), and still strive to better yourself.
     For me, I felt like I was not doing all that I could with what God had given me.  I was capable of being an even better wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, co-worker, and servant of God.  In short, I love who I am and what I have in my life, and I want to be even better for myself and those around me.

      I had come to a place that I knew I wanted more for myself, yet I didn't know how to go about it.  I joined that call (Call2Action), and something wonderful happened.  I was reminded that within me is so much potential, and I have a lot to offer.  I learned more about how my mind works, and with that knowledge I am able to better understand myself.  Getting what you want from life doesn't have to be overly complicated.  It's about making small shifts in your life, and taking action. 
     They reminded me the importance of letting my light shine.  A shining light is not about being complacent or comfortable.  To shine, "to be bright with reflected light; glisten; sparkle," or "to excel or be conspicuous."  In order to shine, I need to stand out and show my capabilities.  
     It is about being thankful for who I am, and strive to progress in all areas of my life.  It's about respecting myself, and knowing that hiding my potential does nothing for anyone.  I am capable of so much physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.   
     It has been so empowering to take ahold of my journey, make decisions, take action, and progress towards the life that I want for myself and my family.  Especially now that I am a mother, I want my son (and any future children) to have an example in me of how to live a happy and fulfilled life being the best you can be.   

All the best,
OkieGal

P.S.  If you're interested, Michael Bernoff recently did a free call where he talked about what he called "The 90 Day Deal."  It was a different way at looking at obtaining things that you want in your life.  I found it to be a great call, especially as I prepared for this challenge.  If you want to take a listen to it, check it out here. 

A Revelation About Stress

     What a day!  I was just not feeling it at all today.  Chickpea woke up several times last night, which is not normal for him.  I think he's having a growth spurt or something because he also wanted to eat a lot today.  He was tired, I was tired, and it was just a more challenging day than normal.  I woke up with a headache, but it seemed to subside after I got breakfast.  We went to church, and after we got home it was just one mess after another.  I will spare any details and just say that we ended up with impromptu bath time this afternoon and a load of laundry to be done. 
     Overall I was feeling a bit grumpy and tired.  Just felt stressed.  In the midst of all this I did become aware of several things about myself.  First of all, I am proud to say that while the DDP Yoga schedule allowed for an optional rest day, I opted to do a workout.  I knew I'd feel better after doing it.  I just finished, and can say that I'm glad I did it!  I feel more relaxed and will have a much easier time getting to sleep, assuming Chickpea lets me stay that way! 
     The other thing I learned is that when I get stressed, I start thinking about all those comfort foods that tempt me.  This gets even worse when I am feeling very hungry.  It starts a spiral to where it impacts my decision making, state of mind, etc.  I have a tendency to be hypoglycemic, meaning that when they made the candy bar commercials about "you're not yourself when you're hungry," they were describing me!  Add these symptoms to stress, and you have a perfect storm leading me to less than optimal food choices.  Luckily by this point hubby had come home from work, and was able to make me a quick protein shake to help get me out of the "hangry" situation. 

 

     The revelation about how stress impacts my food choices is a great one.  Now that I'm aware of it, I can give myself healthy alternatives to those comfort foods.  For example, I usually find some sort of potato sounds awesome when I'm in this state of mind.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  I love sweet potatoes too, and that could be a great alternative.  It would give the comfort food vibe, without killing my nutrition goals.  Another option is to choose to allow myself a treat.  In today's situation, I didn't want to burn my treat for the week on the first day.  That's the beauty of it, I gain so much by becoming aware of my thought processes.  I can begin to think through what is really going on, recognize it for what it is, and then make a choice based on what I know my goals are and the information in front of me. 
     In the past, I would have more easily said "screw it," and ended up diverting off my path.  Then that diversion would give way to more, and then I'm nowhere near the path I really want to be on.  Now I see the situation for what it is, own that situation, and then make a decision.  Today I chose to stay on the path.  That's a huge win for me!

All the best,
OkieGal

Wrapping Up Week 1

     We are at the end of the first week of the 12-week transformation challenge. I want to take a few moments to reflect on what is going well and where I can improve as it goes into week 2.

     Having the fitness calendar in my dining room has been very helpful.  I can see all my fitspiration images and remind myself of my goals.  I also like only writing things down when I actually do them.  It may be very childlike of me, but I enjoy it like a sticker chart.  lol!  Finally, it is right there for my hubby to see too.  That keeps me accountable as well. 
     I have found myself continually improving when it comes to nutrition. Not only am I closer to my calorie goal at the end of the day, I also am seeing improvement in the balance of carbs, protein, and healthy fats. Even more exciting for me was the fact that I allowed myself a treat yesterday, and found it difficult to think of something I wanted. Things that in the past would have been  a temptation, weren't as appealing as they used to be. I did have a serving of dark chocolate sea salt caramel, and enjoyed it.  No guilt.  It was an intentional decision, and part of my plan. 

     An area that I am going to focus more on this week is my water intake. Some days were better than others, just not quite where I want it to be. To help with this, I ordered a water infusion pitcher from Amazon. It holds 93 oz, so if I aim to get through the pitcher over the course of my whole day, I will be closer to my goal. Plus it will be fun to have different flavors of water to make it more interesting.  I found a website that has flavor ideas, and I look forward to trying some different combos! 

     Another area that I will need to give more attention to is getting to bed at a reasonable hour.  That can be easier said than done with an almost 7 month old, and a hubby that usually gets home after 9pm.  I usually am doing my workouts when Chickpea goes to bed for the evening, and then I want to stay up to spend time with my husband when he gets home.  There is still room for improvement here, and I will be working on it.

     When it came to my workouts, I did have to battle in my mind over doing them a day or two this week. The great news is that I did them!  You can read more about this topic in my post called Bumps in the Road.    

     With each area I know there is much more to be done. The important thing is that I continue to take one step at a time. This is just the beginning, and there is still the excitement and enthusiasm of starting the challenge. To help continued progress, I will need to find ways to tap back into that excitement when more difficult days pop up. 

     I will continue to benefit from the accountability that is obtained from writing here. I will begin adding things that motivate me to the mix so that I can read through them when I need a boost. 

     Week 2 awaits!

All the best,

OkieGal

      

     

Bumps in the Road

     So far the first week of the challenge has been going pretty well. With each day, I am more consistent about making my calorie goals. I have also found healthy ways to satiate my sweet tooth. I did find that after having a rest day from my workouts yesterday, my mind wanted to skip today. It's something I've had a challenge with before, and will continue to work through it.

     It's amazing how much being aware of my mental state helps me. If I recognize when my brain is throwing out excuses, I can shut them down. For instance, I sat and thought "well the baby did get up twice last night, so if I just take today off too..."  However, I know that I feel so much better at the end of the day when I get the workout in. I sleep better, I stretch out my body after working a desk job all day, and I'll take another step forward being consistent (which will build confidence). Instead of listing excuses for not doing it, I focus in on reasons why I should do it, and think about those.

     Are there days that I do skip?  Of course.  My goal with those days is to make a conscious decision about it.  Instead of idly letting the day go by without doing the workout, I acknowledge the decision not to do it.  I may say, "I choose not to do my workout today, and I will instead make it up on what was my next planned rest day."  This approach causes me to think it through, be aware of my decision, and own it.  I also free myself from guilt.  I chose to do it, and have a plan for making it up. 
     So what if I do idly skip the workout?  I am working to not beat myself up over those times.  I'm human, it happens.  My goal in that situation is to get back in my routine faster than I did the time previously.  In the grand scheme of things, I'm working to stay on track more often than not.
     Up until the moment I started the DDP Yoga DVD this evening, I found my body and mind still fighting it.  I knew I should and I was going to, yet my mind was trying to betray me.  The important point is that I did it.  I pushed play, and I did the workout.  Today I overcame the thoughts that were trying to hold me back.  And guess what, I feel better after the workout!  Here's to small victories!

All the best,
OkieGal

     

Where I've Been & Where I'm Going

     Today didn't start out quite as planned, so I am posting this evening instead of in the morning.  We had major thunderstorms, which proceeded to wake my Chickpea up earlier than normal!  Oh well, we have made it through another day, and I'm ready to share today's topic!
     As promised, I'm sharing my goals for the 12-week transformation contest!  Before talking about where I'm going, I wanted to share where I've been.  I will say before I start, that this is just my history.  It's not right or wrong, it just is.  I have never really cared about the scale, and tend to go off of how my clothes fit to determine where I'm at physically.  The main reason I knew my weight through the years was either because of doctor's appointments or because I was tracking a starting point before a fitness routine. 
     About 2008 is where I can really remember the rollercoaster of weight loss and gain beginning for me.  I would be doing well for awhile, and then get discouraged and say "forget it" in my mind.  In December of 2010, I was preparing to do P90X with my husband.  We took before pictures and did measurements, and I weighed in at 130 lbs.  I did see some results, and then I injured my knee before I could complete the whole program. 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

       Fast forward a bit and I reached my heaviest of 138 lbs.  In early 2013 I got active again with more consistency.  I joined karate, and was training for the Warrior Dash 5K.  I lost weight and got down to 125 lbs.  I then learned I was pregnant in late June of 2013.  I was determined to stay fit and active during the pregnancy.  My main goal was healthy me and healthy baby, and I also wanted to do a natural, pain med free childbirth.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     After 2 failed glucose tests, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put on a strict diet.  My midwife said I didn't just fail the test, my numbers were the worst she'd seen in a long time!  She was willing to let me try to control blood sugar with diet, but if I couldn't I would be on medication or need insulin injections.  Long story short, I was able to control blood sugar levels with diet alone, and maintained an active lifestyle.  I was not worried about weight while pregnant, because that's part of the deal.  They were keeping track though, so I know my max weight during pregnancy was 140lbs.  I had to be induced using a low dose of Pitocin due to low fluid levels, but was still able to labor and deliver pain med free! 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     The nutrition I needed to maintain through the pregnancy is part of what I believe helped in my quick recovery.  While I wasn't focused on losing weight at all, I found myself back to pre-pregnancy weight 2 weeks post partum.  This, I believe, is due in part to how my body reacted to breastfeeding.  I took before photos again at 7 weeks post partum to get ready to work out again, this time using DDP Yoga (since it is low impact).  I ran the 2014 Warrior Dash 5K at 10 weeks post partum.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     I then decided to focus in on my transition from being a new Mom to being a working new Mom, so paused my workouts.  About a month ago I started up the workouts again and really began to think about what I wanted.  After all these years, I had gotten the weight off.  Now what do I really want?  As mentioned in previous posts, I want a healthy, strong, and fit physique.  I want to build muscle and have definition where I can see the results of my hard work.
     This brings me to why I joined the transformation challenge.  Transformation is not just about weight loss.  For some it is, and that's an awesome reason to begin the challenge.  For me, it is about transforming into the athletic build that deep down I've always wanted.  So my goals are not centered around weight loss, they are around building muscle.

Here are the 6 focuses I have set for the next 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     When the 12 week challenge is complete, I will then reassess where I am.  What is working?  What can be improved?  What more do I need to learn to help me get what I want?  Then I will start the process over again.  In short, continuous improvement.
     At the end of the day, it is about me becoming an even better version of myself.  I am proud of who I am, where I've come from, and what I've learned about myself along the way.  It takes dedication and consistency to make this lifestyle a part of who I am.  I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes.  I want to prove to myself that I am the person that can follow through and reach for what it is that I want.  It is something that I am applying specifically to fitness in this case, and the concepts will transfer to other parts of my life as well.   

All the best,
OkieGal

Food and My Relationship With It

     Today I have been thinking about nutrition. More specifically my attitude towards it. I purposely used the word nutrition, instead of diet here. For me, I feel like diet has gotten a restrictive and negative connotation in my own mind.  I realized this when I was deciding to do the transformation challenge and immediately thought I better eat a bunch of stuff I "can't have anymore."

     As that thought crossed my mind, I realized I have had unhealthy associations with food and with having a healthy lifestyle. The guidelines of the challenge even allow for 1-2 treats a week, yet my mind thought I can never have sweets again. It is simply not true, or realistic.

 

     It is about balance in life. I should be eating the healthy good for me foods more often than not, and having a treat here and there is okay and completely normal. While I'm no expert, I have read in several places that having a treat here and there actually helps keep you on track. It's when the treats are happening a majority of the time that it becomes a problem. 

     Another thing I realized is that I had been rewarding myself with food in the past. For me, this is counterproductive and feeds into the thought process that a food plan is restrictive.  I am working on ideas for rewards when I hit milestones that aren't food related.  It's important to celebrate the milestones, while keeping myself on track. 

     My focus is now on balanced nutrition, and creating a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. Good nutrition is important for me. In my last 2 yearly physicals, I was told that my cholesterol was too high. You wouldn't guess it by looking at me, yet it's true.  I want to get a handle on that now before my health is deteriorating because of it.
     The other reason it is important, is because only by having healthy nutrition will I get to my personal aspirations.  While I'll talk about my goals more tomorrow, since my overall focus is to build muscle and not lose weight, I'll have to track to make sure I am eating enough calories to support that plus the calories needed to breastfeed.  It's a lot harder than I thought.  Especially when trying to use healthy foods to reach the calorie goal with a good balance between healthy fats, protein, and carbohydrates.  I've started using the MyFitnessPal app again to help track the calories and ratios.
     When I think of my nutrition as adding more of the healthy foods instead of as a restrictive activity, it puts my mind in the right space.  Even choosing to add one more healthy meal a day is progress.     

     The good news is that I can choose to make a difference. Through the challenge my focus is to be more consistent with healthy nutrition, choosing a healthy option more often than not. Enjoying treats from time to time, and using other options as rewards instead of food.

 

All the best,

OkieGal

My Transformation is Mine Alone

     Today is Day 1 of the transformation challenge!  Last night my hubby took measurements for me and we also took my before pictures, which I am posting below with much nervousness.

 

     I keep reminding myself that my transformation is mine, and mine alone. The reminders are necessary as I keep hearing those old, familiar voices in my mind. They make me question myself and wonder what other people will think. They ask me "why are you even doing this?"  They tell me that my transformation won't be as dramatic as others', so why even try?  They ask me "how would feel if I fail, and everyone knows it?"

     I'm fighting those thoughts, and will prove them wrong. You see, my transformation is about me now compared to me in the future. I should not compare mine to others' journeys. They have their own. I will still celebrate in their successes and be understanding of their struggles. I just need to also celebrate my own successes and fight through my own struggle. A dramatic change for someone else has no impact on my transformation, other than to serve as motivation and inspiration. Someone else's journey does not diminish my own, nor does mine diminish theirs.  We all have our own journey and own transformation through that journey. 

     This point of view is what I am working toward. I still struggle with it as I type it here. I know it's true, and I believe it. I am working on shifting it from something I know, to thoughts that are part of who I am.

     There is more than a physical transformation at work for me. My mind tries to work against me. It is easier to stay where I am, and so my mind tries to trick me into staying there, comfortable.  Now is the time to make small shifts in my life to reach for what I really want, and achieve it. 

     I am taking it one day at a time. For my workouts, I am on week 6 of the 13 week advanced DDP Yoga schedule. I will also be adding in walks/jogs with my son, aka Chickpea, in the jogging stroller. The DDP Yoga plan takes me through 8 weeks of the transformation contest, so I found a 4 week program online that is patterned after what Gina Carano does.  This gives me 8 weeks to warm up for that mentally, and get any equipment or accessories (or get to the gym instead of only an at home based workout).

     The other piece is nutrition. I am not following a specific meal plan that tells me what to eat each meal. What I am doing is reaching for daily calorie intake goals, along with goals for my carb, protein, and fat ratios. My calorie goal is 1500 + 500 since I'm breastfeeding, bringing it to a total of 2,000. I will be monitoring the success of this goal and the ratios as I go, and will adjust as necessary. I track it all using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone. 

     I am excited and nervous!  I am finalizing what will be my 6 goals/focuses for the duration of the transformation challenge in the next day or so before I submit them to the contest. I plan to share them here to keep me accountable. 

All the best,

OkieGal