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Friday, October 24, 2014

Ups & Downs

     I am quickly realizing that this whole health and fitness journey is full of way more ups and downs than I would like to admit.  Since the whole point of writing this is to keep myself accountable, that means writing about the ups and the downs of the journey. 
     It's been interesting the last weeks.  Just when I think that I'm getting back on track, something else hits me.  For instance, I was finally getting back in a groove after my travels.  The next thing I know, both Chickpea and I are sniffling and sneezing for several days.  I had the illness through Tuesday of this week.  I took a break from my workouts, because to be completely honest, I didn't want to do moves like "down dog" with my sinuses hurting as they were. 
     On Wednesday, I felt better, but I still didn't want to get back in it.  My husband and I stayed up way too late talking about the funk that I keep finding myself dipping in and out of.  It's been difficult.  I'm struggling with my thoughts and feelings more than the physical aspect of the transformation.  I'm not sure if I'm surprised by that or more frustrated with it.  I've never been one to want to talk about my emotions and feelings around things.  I tend to try to white-knuckle it when life gets stressful.  I feel like if I just hold on tight for as long as possible, I'll eventually get through it.  This seems to work for awhile, but my husband pointed out that when you white-knuckle something for long enough it is difficult to let go. 
     As much as this blog has been focusing on the transformation challenge, since I'm human and life is intertwined, a lot of the other aspects of my life have come into play.  When challenges are hitting me in other areas of my life, it naturally is going to have some impact on health and fitness. 
     I took time the last two days to refocus.  Yesterday and today I have listened to leadership calls to help get my mind back in the game.  It also gave me steps to take to help get closer to what I want. 

 
     We also went to the gym to get my body fat percentage measured today.  This has been something I have avoided.  I did it a few years ago, and I just didn't want to face it again.  I knew I needed to do it so that I have a reference point for my progress since knowing my weight doesn't tell me much about how I'm progressing on my goals.  I was afraid to be vulnerable and get these measurements taken.  I did it anyway.  What's interesting is that I had it done, and I learned that I'm in a lot better place than I was a few years ago.  When I was about 20lbs heavier, I was at about 28% body fat.  Today, I am at 24%!  I faced the vulnerability and the fear, and got evidence of how far I've come in the last years.  It also was good to learn that I'm really not that far from where I want to be.  I got confirmation that a lot of things that I'm doing are the right things for accomplishing my goals, and I also got tips for continuing to get me there.  That was a huge boost for me!
     I will be doing more soul-searching over the weekend.  I have almost completed the 8th week of the challenge, and I know I can do great things if I set my mind to it.  I will be revisiting my goals, and as was suggested to me today, I will also be reminding myself of why I am on this journey.
     I'm sure there are more ups and downs to come.  My goal is to continue to celebrate the high points, and learn everything I can about the lows.  I will only move forward if I learn, and make adjustments.  This is possible, and I will make progress!

All the best,
OkieGal
 

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