Let Your Light Shine

     When I first picked the blog back up at the beginning of the transformation challenge, I mentioned a journey that I started back in January of 2013 (you can read that post here).  I wanted to take at least another post to dive into that journey. 
     As I mentioned before, I had reached a point where I was sick and tired.  It's kind of odd to say, because it's not like I was desperately unhappy.  I'm married to my best friend, I have a nice home, live in a nice neighborhood, have a stable job, and am blessed.  While I had those things, I couldn't help but feel like there had to be more.  In reality, I knew, deep down, that I was (and still am) capable of so much more than I was giving in my life.  I believe that it is possible to be content (defined as "in a state of peaceful happiness"), and still strive to better yourself.
     For me, I felt like I was not doing all that I could with what God had given me.  I was capable of being an even better wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, co-worker, and servant of God.  In short, I love who I am and what I have in my life, and I want to be even better for myself and those around me.

      I had come to a place that I knew I wanted more for myself, yet I didn't know how to go about it.  I joined that call (Call2Action), and something wonderful happened.  I was reminded that within me is so much potential, and I have a lot to offer.  I learned more about how my mind works, and with that knowledge I am able to better understand myself.  Getting what you want from life doesn't have to be overly complicated.  It's about making small shifts in your life, and taking action. 
     They reminded me the importance of letting my light shine.  A shining light is not about being complacent or comfortable.  To shine, "to be bright with reflected light; glisten; sparkle," or "to excel or be conspicuous."  In order to shine, I need to stand out and show my capabilities.  
     It is about being thankful for who I am, and strive to progress in all areas of my life.  It's about respecting myself, and knowing that hiding my potential does nothing for anyone.  I am capable of so much physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.   
     It has been so empowering to take ahold of my journey, make decisions, take action, and progress towards the life that I want for myself and my family.  Especially now that I am a mother, I want my son (and any future children) to have an example in me of how to live a happy and fulfilled life being the best you can be.   

All the best,
OkieGal

P.S.  If you're interested, Michael Bernoff recently did a free call where he talked about what he called "The 90 Day Deal."  It was a different way at looking at obtaining things that you want in your life.  I found it to be a great call, especially as I prepared for this challenge.  If you want to take a listen to it, check it out here. 

A Revelation About Stress

     What a day!  I was just not feeling it at all today.  Chickpea woke up several times last night, which is not normal for him.  I think he's having a growth spurt or something because he also wanted to eat a lot today.  He was tired, I was tired, and it was just a more challenging day than normal.  I woke up with a headache, but it seemed to subside after I got breakfast.  We went to church, and after we got home it was just one mess after another.  I will spare any details and just say that we ended up with impromptu bath time this afternoon and a load of laundry to be done. 
     Overall I was feeling a bit grumpy and tired.  Just felt stressed.  In the midst of all this I did become aware of several things about myself.  First of all, I am proud to say that while the DDP Yoga schedule allowed for an optional rest day, I opted to do a workout.  I knew I'd feel better after doing it.  I just finished, and can say that I'm glad I did it!  I feel more relaxed and will have a much easier time getting to sleep, assuming Chickpea lets me stay that way! 
     The other thing I learned is that when I get stressed, I start thinking about all those comfort foods that tempt me.  This gets even worse when I am feeling very hungry.  It starts a spiral to where it impacts my decision making, state of mind, etc.  I have a tendency to be hypoglycemic, meaning that when they made the candy bar commercials about "you're not yourself when you're hungry," they were describing me!  Add these symptoms to stress, and you have a perfect storm leading me to less than optimal food choices.  Luckily by this point hubby had come home from work, and was able to make me a quick protein shake to help get me out of the "hangry" situation. 

 

     The revelation about how stress impacts my food choices is a great one.  Now that I'm aware of it, I can give myself healthy alternatives to those comfort foods.  For example, I usually find some sort of potato sounds awesome when I'm in this state of mind.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  I love sweet potatoes too, and that could be a great alternative.  It would give the comfort food vibe, without killing my nutrition goals.  Another option is to choose to allow myself a treat.  In today's situation, I didn't want to burn my treat for the week on the first day.  That's the beauty of it, I gain so much by becoming aware of my thought processes.  I can begin to think through what is really going on, recognize it for what it is, and then make a choice based on what I know my goals are and the information in front of me. 
     In the past, I would have more easily said "screw it," and ended up diverting off my path.  Then that diversion would give way to more, and then I'm nowhere near the path I really want to be on.  Now I see the situation for what it is, own that situation, and then make a decision.  Today I chose to stay on the path.  That's a huge win for me!

All the best,
OkieGal

Wrapping Up Week 1

     We are at the end of the first week of the 12-week transformation challenge. I want to take a few moments to reflect on what is going well and where I can improve as it goes into week 2.

     Having the fitness calendar in my dining room has been very helpful.  I can see all my fitspiration images and remind myself of my goals.  I also like only writing things down when I actually do them.  It may be very childlike of me, but I enjoy it like a sticker chart.  lol!  Finally, it is right there for my hubby to see too.  That keeps me accountable as well. 
     I have found myself continually improving when it comes to nutrition. Not only am I closer to my calorie goal at the end of the day, I also am seeing improvement in the balance of carbs, protein, and healthy fats. Even more exciting for me was the fact that I allowed myself a treat yesterday, and found it difficult to think of something I wanted. Things that in the past would have been  a temptation, weren't as appealing as they used to be. I did have a serving of dark chocolate sea salt caramel, and enjoyed it.  No guilt.  It was an intentional decision, and part of my plan. 

     An area that I am going to focus more on this week is my water intake. Some days were better than others, just not quite where I want it to be. To help with this, I ordered a water infusion pitcher from Amazon. It holds 93 oz, so if I aim to get through the pitcher over the course of my whole day, I will be closer to my goal. Plus it will be fun to have different flavors of water to make it more interesting.  I found a website that has flavor ideas, and I look forward to trying some different combos! 

     Another area that I will need to give more attention to is getting to bed at a reasonable hour.  That can be easier said than done with an almost 7 month old, and a hubby that usually gets home after 9pm.  I usually am doing my workouts when Chickpea goes to bed for the evening, and then I want to stay up to spend time with my husband when he gets home.  There is still room for improvement here, and I will be working on it.

     When it came to my workouts, I did have to battle in my mind over doing them a day or two this week. The great news is that I did them!  You can read more about this topic in my post called Bumps in the Road.    

     With each area I know there is much more to be done. The important thing is that I continue to take one step at a time. This is just the beginning, and there is still the excitement and enthusiasm of starting the challenge. To help continued progress, I will need to find ways to tap back into that excitement when more difficult days pop up. 

     I will continue to benefit from the accountability that is obtained from writing here. I will begin adding things that motivate me to the mix so that I can read through them when I need a boost. 

     Week 2 awaits!

All the best,

OkieGal

      

     

Bumps in the Road

     So far the first week of the challenge has been going pretty well. With each day, I am more consistent about making my calorie goals. I have also found healthy ways to satiate my sweet tooth. I did find that after having a rest day from my workouts yesterday, my mind wanted to skip today. It's something I've had a challenge with before, and will continue to work through it.

     It's amazing how much being aware of my mental state helps me. If I recognize when my brain is throwing out excuses, I can shut them down. For instance, I sat and thought "well the baby did get up twice last night, so if I just take today off too..."  However, I know that I feel so much better at the end of the day when I get the workout in. I sleep better, I stretch out my body after working a desk job all day, and I'll take another step forward being consistent (which will build confidence). Instead of listing excuses for not doing it, I focus in on reasons why I should do it, and think about those.

     Are there days that I do skip?  Of course.  My goal with those days is to make a conscious decision about it.  Instead of idly letting the day go by without doing the workout, I acknowledge the decision not to do it.  I may say, "I choose not to do my workout today, and I will instead make it up on what was my next planned rest day."  This approach causes me to think it through, be aware of my decision, and own it.  I also free myself from guilt.  I chose to do it, and have a plan for making it up. 
     So what if I do idly skip the workout?  I am working to not beat myself up over those times.  I'm human, it happens.  My goal in that situation is to get back in my routine faster than I did the time previously.  In the grand scheme of things, I'm working to stay on track more often than not.
     Up until the moment I started the DDP Yoga DVD this evening, I found my body and mind still fighting it.  I knew I should and I was going to, yet my mind was trying to betray me.  The important point is that I did it.  I pushed play, and I did the workout.  Today I overcame the thoughts that were trying to hold me back.  And guess what, I feel better after the workout!  Here's to small victories!

All the best,
OkieGal

     

Where I've Been & Where I'm Going

     Today didn't start out quite as planned, so I am posting this evening instead of in the morning.  We had major thunderstorms, which proceeded to wake my Chickpea up earlier than normal!  Oh well, we have made it through another day, and I'm ready to share today's topic!
     As promised, I'm sharing my goals for the 12-week transformation contest!  Before talking about where I'm going, I wanted to share where I've been.  I will say before I start, that this is just my history.  It's not right or wrong, it just is.  I have never really cared about the scale, and tend to go off of how my clothes fit to determine where I'm at physically.  The main reason I knew my weight through the years was either because of doctor's appointments or because I was tracking a starting point before a fitness routine. 
     About 2008 is where I can really remember the rollercoaster of weight loss and gain beginning for me.  I would be doing well for awhile, and then get discouraged and say "forget it" in my mind.  In December of 2010, I was preparing to do P90X with my husband.  We took before pictures and did measurements, and I weighed in at 130 lbs.  I did see some results, and then I injured my knee before I could complete the whole program. 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

       Fast forward a bit and I reached my heaviest of 138 lbs.  In early 2013 I got active again with more consistency.  I joined karate, and was training for the Warrior Dash 5K.  I lost weight and got down to 125 lbs.  I then learned I was pregnant in late June of 2013.  I was determined to stay fit and active during the pregnancy.  My main goal was healthy me and healthy baby, and I also wanted to do a natural, pain med free childbirth.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     After 2 failed glucose tests, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and put on a strict diet.  My midwife said I didn't just fail the test, my numbers were the worst she'd seen in a long time!  She was willing to let me try to control blood sugar with diet, but if I couldn't I would be on medication or need insulin injections.  Long story short, I was able to control blood sugar levels with diet alone, and maintained an active lifestyle.  I was not worried about weight while pregnant, because that's part of the deal.  They were keeping track though, so I know my max weight during pregnancy was 140lbs.  I had to be induced using a low dose of Pitocin due to low fluid levels, but was still able to labor and deliver pain med free! 

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Apr 2014 (7 weeks post partum) at 120lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     The nutrition I needed to maintain through the pregnancy is part of what I believe helped in my quick recovery.  While I wasn't focused on losing weight at all, I found myself back to pre-pregnancy weight 2 weeks post partum.  This, I believe, is due in part to how my body reacted to breastfeeding.  I took before photos again at 7 weeks post partum to get ready to work out again, this time using DDP Yoga (since it is low impact).  I ran the 2014 Warrior Dash 5K at 10 weeks post partum.

Dec 2010 at 130lbs vs Aug 2014 (6.5 months post partum) at 110lbs

 

     I then decided to focus in on my transition from being a new Mom to being a working new Mom, so paused my workouts.  About a month ago I started up the workouts again and really began to think about what I wanted.  After all these years, I had gotten the weight off.  Now what do I really want?  As mentioned in previous posts, I want a healthy, strong, and fit physique.  I want to build muscle and have definition where I can see the results of my hard work.
     This brings me to why I joined the transformation challenge.  Transformation is not just about weight loss.  For some it is, and that's an awesome reason to begin the challenge.  For me, it is about transforming into the athletic build that deep down I've always wanted.  So my goals are not centered around weight loss, they are around building muscle.

Here are the 6 focuses I have set for the next 12 weeks to help me get on the right path towards reaching my ultimate goal. 
Consistently and intentionally:
     - Improve my mental attitude towards health and fitness
     - Choose healthy food options
     - Choose to complete my workouts
     - Drink water
     - Make sleep a priority
     - Thoughtfully allow myself treats.

     When the 12 week challenge is complete, I will then reassess where I am.  What is working?  What can be improved?  What more do I need to learn to help me get what I want?  Then I will start the process over again.  In short, continuous improvement.
     At the end of the day, it is about me becoming an even better version of myself.  I am proud of who I am, where I've come from, and what I've learned about myself along the way.  It takes dedication and consistency to make this lifestyle a part of who I am.  I am not perfect, and I will make mistakes.  I want to prove to myself that I am the person that can follow through and reach for what it is that I want.  It is something that I am applying specifically to fitness in this case, and the concepts will transfer to other parts of my life as well.   

All the best,
OkieGal

Food and My Relationship With It

     Today I have been thinking about nutrition. More specifically my attitude towards it. I purposely used the word nutrition, instead of diet here. For me, I feel like diet has gotten a restrictive and negative connotation in my own mind.  I realized this when I was deciding to do the transformation challenge and immediately thought I better eat a bunch of stuff I "can't have anymore."

     As that thought crossed my mind, I realized I have had unhealthy associations with food and with having a healthy lifestyle. The guidelines of the challenge even allow for 1-2 treats a week, yet my mind thought I can never have sweets again. It is simply not true, or realistic.

 

     It is about balance in life. I should be eating the healthy good for me foods more often than not, and having a treat here and there is okay and completely normal. While I'm no expert, I have read in several places that having a treat here and there actually helps keep you on track. It's when the treats are happening a majority of the time that it becomes a problem. 

     Another thing I realized is that I had been rewarding myself with food in the past. For me, this is counterproductive and feeds into the thought process that a food plan is restrictive.  I am working on ideas for rewards when I hit milestones that aren't food related.  It's important to celebrate the milestones, while keeping myself on track. 

     My focus is now on balanced nutrition, and creating a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. Good nutrition is important for me. In my last 2 yearly physicals, I was told that my cholesterol was too high. You wouldn't guess it by looking at me, yet it's true.  I want to get a handle on that now before my health is deteriorating because of it.
     The other reason it is important, is because only by having healthy nutrition will I get to my personal aspirations.  While I'll talk about my goals more tomorrow, since my overall focus is to build muscle and not lose weight, I'll have to track to make sure I am eating enough calories to support that plus the calories needed to breastfeed.  It's a lot harder than I thought.  Especially when trying to use healthy foods to reach the calorie goal with a good balance between healthy fats, protein, and carbohydrates.  I've started using the MyFitnessPal app again to help track the calories and ratios.
     When I think of my nutrition as adding more of the healthy foods instead of as a restrictive activity, it puts my mind in the right space.  Even choosing to add one more healthy meal a day is progress.     

     The good news is that I can choose to make a difference. Through the challenge my focus is to be more consistent with healthy nutrition, choosing a healthy option more often than not. Enjoying treats from time to time, and using other options as rewards instead of food.

 

All the best,

OkieGal

My Transformation is Mine Alone

     Today is Day 1 of the transformation challenge!  Last night my hubby took measurements for me and we also took my before pictures, which I am posting below with much nervousness.

 

     I keep reminding myself that my transformation is mine, and mine alone. The reminders are necessary as I keep hearing those old, familiar voices in my mind. They make me question myself and wonder what other people will think. They ask me "why are you even doing this?"  They tell me that my transformation won't be as dramatic as others', so why even try?  They ask me "how would feel if I fail, and everyone knows it?"

     I'm fighting those thoughts, and will prove them wrong. You see, my transformation is about me now compared to me in the future. I should not compare mine to others' journeys. They have their own. I will still celebrate in their successes and be understanding of their struggles. I just need to also celebrate my own successes and fight through my own struggle. A dramatic change for someone else has no impact on my transformation, other than to serve as motivation and inspiration. Someone else's journey does not diminish my own, nor does mine diminish theirs.  We all have our own journey and own transformation through that journey. 

     This point of view is what I am working toward. I still struggle with it as I type it here. I know it's true, and I believe it. I am working on shifting it from something I know, to thoughts that are part of who I am.

     There is more than a physical transformation at work for me. My mind tries to work against me. It is easier to stay where I am, and so my mind tries to trick me into staying there, comfortable.  Now is the time to make small shifts in my life to reach for what I really want, and achieve it. 

     I am taking it one day at a time. For my workouts, I am on week 6 of the 13 week advanced DDP Yoga schedule. I will also be adding in walks/jogs with my son, aka Chickpea, in the jogging stroller. The DDP Yoga plan takes me through 8 weeks of the transformation contest, so I found a 4 week program online that is patterned after what Gina Carano does.  This gives me 8 weeks to warm up for that mentally, and get any equipment or accessories (or get to the gym instead of only an at home based workout).

     The other piece is nutrition. I am not following a specific meal plan that tells me what to eat each meal. What I am doing is reaching for daily calorie intake goals, along with goals for my carb, protein, and fat ratios. My calorie goal is 1500 + 500 since I'm breastfeeding, bringing it to a total of 2,000. I will be monitoring the success of this goal and the ratios as I go, and will adjust as necessary. I track it all using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone. 

     I am excited and nervous!  I am finalizing what will be my 6 goals/focuses for the duration of the transformation challenge in the next day or so before I submit them to the contest. I plan to share them here to keep me accountable. 

All the best,

OkieGal